Born to be yours

ch- 27

Ch – 27
SONAKSHI BOSE
After few weeks we are going to have our pre test and if I don’t pass this one then I won’t be able to sit for the final examination. But it seems like whenever I try to study my mind starts to roam. It’s getting hard to concentrate. I don’t want to study but I have to, cause I have no other way. And then I start thinking of him, the way he kissed me. I touched my lips and smiled at the thought....................
     Nooooooo  Sona no, you have to stop this feeling or else it will become the reason for your destruction. I looked back at my book...... yes I will study hard. Hard enough for my dad to call me back to America...... hmmmm . 
    You know you should stop thinking about me and concentrate on you studies.......... he said from behind. Wait a second how did he got to know what I was thinking about............. can he read my mind.
I cannot read your mind but I can read your face......... he said sitting beside me.
     I looked straight at him......... I am fore sure he can read my mind. Let me try again, if he reads my mind again that means he has superpowers..........
So I looked straight at him and thought “ you are a donkey “ “ you are the most annoying person I have ever met”...........
What are you doing?, are you burning a hole in my brain.
Offffffff........ I sighed. He cannot read minds. Thank god, or else I would have been exposed.
And then he knocked my head with his hand.
AAAAAA........ I rubbed my head. What was that for...... I asked him.
If you keep on looking at me like that, then three things will happen to you..........
First I will kiss you.
Second, you will fail your exams
And third, you won’t be able to go back to America.............
 
   And if you keep on talking bullshits then three things can happen to you......... I said.
First, I will kick you in your balls.
Second, you won’t be able to sit for your examination
And third, you will fail.
Saying this I turned back to my book and started studying. After sometime a girl came and stood infront of our desk. I looked at her but she was looking at him.
Can you help me with my studies........
 Yeah sure........ he said. And the moment he said this, more girls came to our bench and asked for his help. And then it turned into a fish market.
   Can you guys lower you voice, I can’t study............ but still no change.
    Please just lower you voices......... still no effect.
SHUT THE FUCK UP, CAN’T YOU GUYS JUST LOWER YOU VOICES............  I shouted at them. I was so mad right now. I got up and went out of the class, what is wrong with these people. Can’t they just stop acting like grade 2......... I thought. I was on my way to the library. And I have noticed this change since the day he got a makeover.  As if for all the girls, he went from ugly man to superman.
    But he was a jerk, he is a jerk and he will be a jerk forever for me.
I went into the library but it was filled with students. Everyone is preparing for the test, I managed to find an empty seat for myself. After being there for two hours, I was done. I stretched  my hands upwards and yawned making a sound.
   And then everyone looked at me .............
  Sorry sorry........... I said in a low voice and got out of there. As I passed by the notice board, a huge amount of people were gathered there.
What is the matter with them......... what are they looking at. I pushed through the crowd to the front.
    So this is what they were looking at....... “ WHO IS GOING TO BE THE NEXT Mr. And Miss. Farewell “. And they have also arranged a special gift for them.
   How  lame........ I have more important things to worry about. I ignored it and went away.
Why do they think that becoming the next Mr. And Miss. Farewell is going to help them solve all their problems. Or maybe they are still in their dream world where everything happens just the way they want. Inside the class everyone was studying in their own places except those few girls who were sticking with Dev like a bubble gum. So instead of going back to my seat, I sat on the opposite side of the class ,at the last bench. But I kept on looking at him.............. why do I keep looking at him.
     And why is he so friendly with other girls ,but behaves like a jerk with me. Anyway, even I am not that good to him too. He saved my ass a lot of times but I never thanked him. I really don’t know how I am feeling right now, I just want to get up and drag him out of there.  I guess staying in the class won’t help me, so I got up and was about to leave, It was almost time for the college to end for today. I was walking towards the door ....
   Wait for me, I am coming too.............. he called out. But I kept on walking, pretending not to hear him.
After going back to home....... I texted Christine.....
“ call me...... please”
 
     After sometimes she called me...........
Christine – Sam what happened, are you ok......?
There was concern in her voice.
Sona- I don’t know what is happening to me, every time I see him it feels so strange. He cares about everyone and talks nicely to everyone else........ but it irritates me to see him  with someone else.
Christine – Sam......... stop .  Just tell me how is he with you.... like give me details about each and every event.
So I told her what had happened till date. 
Christine- after listening to all of it...... my friend I think that you are in love.   
Sona – no..... I’m not.
Christine – think about it, he is the only person you talk about these days....
Sona- that’s because he is the only person around me all the time. And I talk about him cause he is the most annoying person.
Christine - He even kissed you...........
Sona – just because they kiss you, that doesn’t means you have to fall in love with them.
Christine – I know you are afraid to fall in love. You are afraid that someone will break your heart.
Sona – and I guess you know why is that so.....
Christine – what happened to Lili is not your fault. Stop blaming yourself for that, even she wouldn’t want you to suffer like that your whole life. You have to stop doing this to yourself.
Sona – I will never forget what happened to Lili. The day she died I promised myself that “I will never fall in love”. It took my sister away from me. She took care of me when I was a child, she took care of me when I cried. She was not my mother but she tried to fill the gap, and I  wasn’t able to protect her. And the so called “ love of her life” left her alone when she needed him the most.
 
Christine – not all men are same.
Sona – at first all of them act like you are the most precious thing to them, and when they had  had enough of you, they leave. And even if I have started to feel something strange......... soon enough I will find a reason to hate him.
Christine – and what if he doesn’t gives you any.
Sona – then I will give myself one. Or maybe I can give myself thousand reasons to hate him. Ook  now bye.... I have to study.
I ended the call.
 From tomorrow onwards I will stay away from him. I will not let anyone take advantage of my feelings. 
   
CHRISTINE
She ended the call , but I know.............. she had made a tough shell around herself. She says she has turned her heart into stone, but I know.......... one day someone will make her heart melt.
    Back then when this incident happened, Sam was in 9th grade and Lili was a college student. There was no blood relation between Lili and Sam, as Lili was adopted by Sam’s parents before she was born. Her parents after few  years of their marriage found out that giving birth to a child could be dangerous for Mrs. Bose. So they decided to adopt a child. So Lili came into their life. They were happy but one day she found out that she was pregnant. When they went to the doctor, the doctor said that Mrs. Bose won’t be  able to abort the child as it would put her life in danger. The Doctor also said there is no guarantee...... that she would survive while giving birth to the baby.  Her parents had no way out so they decided to keep the baby. And Lili was too small to understand what was happening. She was just excited to have a little sister or brother. And when she got to know that she is going to have a little sister, she was even more happier.
  One day before Sam was born, Mrs. Bose told Lili to take care of Sam for her. She convinced Lili that she was going to become a star in the sky and will always look over her from up there. And after Sam was born, her mom died.
   Even though she missed her mom, but she never showed it on her face. And soon Sam became a part of Lili. No matter how hard Sam cried, Lili used to hold Sam to her chest and in her arms Sam slept at peace.
   Lili was six years older than sam but both of them used to stick together always. They were like the two sides of a coin.
 Somehow they got to know that a boy was after Lili. She resisted at first but eventually fell in love with that boy. Everything was good until Lili found out that she was suffering from AIDs. And when she told her dad and Sam about it, they broke into million pieces. Even after doing a lot of treatment, her condition got worse day after the other. Even the person she loved the most, who was the reason for her this condition, broke up with her.    And after few days  she jumped off from the roof of the hospital.
     Later on they found a letter on her hospital bed.
 
“  DAD AND SONA, LISTEN TO ME CAREFULLY. IT HAS BEEN MONTHS I HAVE BEEN ON THIS HOSPITAL BED AND SEE BOTH OF YOU GET WEAK DAY AFTER DAY. I KNOW THERE IS NO CHANCE THAT I AM GOING TO SURVIVE AND I DON’T WANT YOU GUYS TO SUFFER LIKE THIS. SO I AM GOING TO END THIS SUFFRING FOREVER. YOU KNOW IT’S VERY HARD FOR ME TO MOVE MYSELF, AS IF ALL MY BODY PARTS ARE GIVING UP ON ME.AND I DON’T WANT TO STAY ON THIS BED ANYMORE AND I CAN’T SEE BOTH OF YOU CRY LIKE THAT. EVEN IF YOU SAY THAT YOU DIDN’T CRIED LAST NIGHT , I WON’T BELIVE YOU. CAUSE I CAN SEE BOTH OF YOUR EYES RED EVERYTIME YOU COME TO SEE ME. 
SO I WANT TO END THIS SERIES OF SORROW FROM YOUR LIVES. AND LET ME TELL YOU ONE THING, IT BREAKS MY HEART TO SEE YOU LIKE THIS. EVEN THOUGH YOU SAY THAT YOU ARE NOT WORRIED , YOU EAT ALL THE MEALS AND SLEPT WELL...... I KNOW ALL OF IT IS A LIE. EVEN THOUGH PEOPLE DON’T KNOW THAT I AM NOT YOUR BLOOD DAD. AND I KNOW YOU KEPT IT A SECREAT , CAUSE YOU WERE AFRAID THAT IT WOULD MAKE ME SAD IF PEOPLE STARTED TO CALL ME ADOPTED. BUT TRUST ME DAD, I NEVER CONSIDERED MYSELF ADOPTED CAUSE YOU NEVER MADE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS. SAM AND ME BOTH OF US WERE EQUAL TO YOU. AND I CARE ABOUT BOTH OF YOU.... SO I WILL BE GOING NOW.
     AND ONE MORE THING. IF YOU THINK THAT I AM KILLING MYSELF ,THEN I PROMISE TO SCARE YOU AS A GHOST. I AM JUST LEAVING THE WORLD BEHIND ME AND I GUESS MOM IS WAITING FOR ME UP THERE.  I AM GOING TO DIE SOONER OR LATER AND I KNOW DAD YOU WILL TRY YOU BEST TO KEEP ME ALIVE FOR FEW MORE MONTHS , BUT THE MOMENT I DIE... YOU GUYS WILL START CRYING. SO PLEASE PROMISE ME THAT YOU WON’T CRY.
     SONA TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF OKK. AND DON’T  “
And there was nothing else written ......... maybe she didn’t had much energy to write anymore.
And after that day Sam became a cold hearted person. Fighting with everyone, going to parties and drinking till she passed out became a habit of her. As if she was just trying to keep herself busy with all kind of stuffs she could. And after her sister died, Sam and her father never mentioned her name in front of each other. Sam even went after her sister’s boyfriend, beat him to death until he spilled each an every word about Lili. And that’s when she got to know that her sister was injected with an infected syringe during a party. And when he got to know that because of him she was sick...... he left her alone. Right now that boy is in jail. But that left an imprint on Sam’s life. They both were her dream. She always wanted someone in her life just like the boy in her sister’s life.  But when she found out that the reason for her sister’s death was the person Lili loved the most....... it broke her. Her fate from love was swept away. Whenever she though about her sister, she used to think that if that boy have never approached her sister then maybe she would have been still alive.  
SONAKSHI BOSE
 
I woke up in the morning and saw that there has been several missed calls from Dev. Yesterday I didn’t went to his place for studying and I guess he was calling for that reason. But that was not the reason, I won’t ask him to help me anymore with anything. It’s best for both of us to stay away from each other before we tend to fall for each other.
Lili.........  it feels like it has been ages I have heard her name. The pendent on my neck was not just worn by my mom as she passed it down to Lili before her death. I didn’t even knew that my father had it all the time. Whenever I cry thinking about my mother , I cry even more when I think about Lili.
     And I don’t want to get hurt or hurt someone else, so it’s better that I turn into a bad person. And the only way to get away from him is to pass my final exams and go back to America.
   I won’t be attending college, and only go to the college to give my pre test and final examination. Suddenly someone knocked on the door....... come in.
 
Mam, you have a visitor. He says that he is your friend.
I walked to the window and looked through it. He was standing in front of the door.
I turned back at the maid..... tell him that I am not at home, and I won’t be back before the exams.
Ok mam....... she said and went away.
And I went back to my bed. now I can concentrate on my studies.........
 
    DEV DIXIT
 
What........ she won’t be back before exams.
Yes sir...... She has gone for a vacation and won’t be back until her exams.
   I looked up at her room but it seemed like there was no one up there.
I kept on calling her but she didn’t even answered even one of them. What the hell is wrong with this girl................... can’t she just answer my calls. At least she could have said where she was going. And how can she go at such a time when the exams are near.
From today our pre tests are going to starts . I am sitting inside the examination hall , everyone is here but she is still missing. There is only five minutes left before the exam starts.
   Mam can I come in.......
I looked up at her, she was out of breath. Must have ran all the way from the main gate.
Our seats are on the opposite corners of the class room. I am sitting on the last bench of the third row and she is sitting on the first bench first row.
 
 After three hours my paper was completed but when I looked up, she submitted her paper and was on her way out of the class.
 I ran out of the class to catch up with her.
  Where have you been, and why didn’t you picked up my calls.
 I was on a vacation......... was her simple answer.
Yeah I know that already, but at least you could have called me and said that you will be going for few days.
It is non of your concern...... and if you want payment for the time you wasted teaching me then don’t worry, you will get it right after we finish our final exams........ she said and walked away.
Heyyyy wait........ I called out. But she didn’t stopped, and got into her car.
 
Why is she behaving so strange... all of a sudden. I knew that she was crazy, but that craziness was leaving her soul slowly. Maybe she went on a vacation and refilled her cylinder of craziness.
         Our pre test got over within two weeks and the results were going to be mailed to us. But before that we were going to celebrate our farewell party. Jivan was busy with the decoration work with his other classmates as our junior’s were arranging the party for us. I got ready and looked in the mirror. Now I have to give my best to earn that scholarship, it’s my only ticket to go to America. I cannot get distracted............... my chain of thoughts stopped when my phone vibrated in my pocket.
  There was a text from Jivan.
Jivan – are you coming with Sonakshi or will you be coming alone?
    Shit.............. I didn’t asked her to go to the party with me. I was about to call her but then I remembered that she is not picking up my calls from few days. I guess I will just text her.
Dev – come to the party with me.
But she didn’t saw the message yet. Guess I have to go to her home then............  Jivan left his car for me so that I could come to the party driving his car.  So,  I drove to her house and parked the car in front of her house.  I rang the door bell and after few seconds the maid opened the door.
   Is sonakshi at home.......
Yes sir....... she is in her room. should I call her down.
No it’s ok, I will go up.
   
 SONAKSHI BOSE
 
I am getting ready for the party............ but I am not able to close the zip of my dress. It is far away from my reach. I have been struggling for few minutes now and my hands are tired.
    Suddenly someone opens the door and comes in........... I guess the maid has came. My eyes were closed cause I had just finished putting eyeliner and it was still drying.
    Please help me with the chain....... it is out of my reach and I am getting late for the party.
I waited for few seconds but she didn’t came to help me.
 What happened, come fast and help me with the zip................ I said. She came and stood behind me and moved my hairs from my back. Her fingers brushed on my skin and I got goosebumps all over my body. Why does her finger feels so rough......... it was not as soft like a women’s hand. Maybe she did a lot of work today........
  And then she pulled up my zip.......... I turned towards her. Has my eyeliner dried yet?   I asked.
   Yes it has dried.................
I quickly opened my eyes and looked at him......... what are you doing here?
Ummm   aaa ..........  he looked up at the ceiling. What did I wanted to say..............
Oooooo ha I remember... Lets go together to the party.........
  First tell me why didn’t you said that it was you...........
I thought that you knew...  anyway, you needed help so I helped you.
  I thought it was the maid....... I exclaimed.
So you are telling me that my hands are soft as a woman. .............. he said holding his hands and acting as if I hurted his feelings.
First of all I didn’t asked for you help...... I said with a mean face.
Ok then......... he said and pulled me towards him by my hand. My heart started to beat fast........ and it was beating so loud. I am afraid that he will get to hear it. I was looking into his eyes but then it flickered between his lips and his eyes. And then I could feel his fingers brush on my neck, and at that moment I went stiff.
   He pulled the zip back down............. now I am going to call the maid and she can help you close the Zip, ok........ he said and got out of my room.
What the hell just happened......... aaaaaaa I hate this feeling. Why was my heart beating so loud. Why can’t I move myself when he comes closer to me. Maybe I shouldn’t have kissed him at the first place, and look now where he got me. I feel so vulnerable in front of him, he just comes to me and does whatever he wants and I can’t even move from my spot.
    The maid came and helped me with the zip, but my mind was somewhere else.
Mam the driver is waiting for you..........
Ooooo ookk ........... I said and got down the stairs but he was standing there. I noticed how good he looked in gray suit. I was wearing a black gown with a slit on the side.
   Walk straight and get inside your car........ my inner voice said to me. So I walked down and walked past him out of the house. I knew that he was following me...........
   Where are you going....... my car is parked over there....... he said but I ignored him. I got inside the car and drove off.
 
DEV DIXIT
What is wrong with this girl............. feels like she is trying to avoid me, but why...... I thought.
   I got inside the car and was on my way to the party........... and then I saw a car was parked on the side of the road. As I got closer................ that is Sonakshi’s car. And there she is standing near her car. So I  pulled over and got out.
What happened I asked the driver.......
     The car stopped suddenly, I checked all the wires but everything was fine with them.
  Come with me then......... I looked at her, but she looked at the driver.
How much time will it take to repair it....... she asked the driver.
   Mam, I called the mechanic but they said they will be late.
You know I won’t eat you if you come with me....... I told her. But she was still not looking at me.......... 
    I rolled my eyes and went over to her, and pulled her with me.
I won’t go with you to the party...... she struggled to get out of my grip.
    You know you can stay away from me at the party if you want to..... but right now it’s not safe for you to stand here, so just get inside my car and go the party............ I said pulling her close to me.
She stopped struggling and got inside the car..........
   During our drive she didn’t even said a word, and kept on staring out of the window.
I really am confused right now.......... I parked the car in front of the college. I got out of the car and so did she, but she walked inside as fast as she can. I too went inside, and the environment of the party was so cool........ like it was amazing. Jivan walked through the crowd .......
    So... how is our decoration? He asked.
I really like it...... I said showing him a thumps up.
      Well it was my idea to decorate it in this manner, by the way........ where is Sonakshi, didn’t you guys came together?.........
 Yes we did, but it seems like she is avoiding me for some reason.
Did you fought again.......
No..... as far as I remember she was all fine...... and then I remembered that event.
Until that day, when we were sitting in the class and some of the girls came and asked to help them with their studies...... I remember she got up all angry and left the class.......
   Wait wait wait.... you are saying that she was angry when she saw you giving attention to other girls of the class.......... I think she likes you..... he said.
  What a joke...... I said laughing.
No.. like really, a girl gets angry when they see the person they like, giving attention or talking to some other girl......... he said.
Ok let’s just drop this discussion and enjoy the party..........
  Ok then, enjoy the party... the drinks are kept there  and the snacks as over there, I have to do some announcements and other things........ he said and went away.
Does she really likes me...... but how. We both are totally different from each other. We have different kind of lifestyle, she was born and bought up in America and I was ......... I don’t even know in which hospital I was born. We both are like the two ends of this world........
   Jivan is wrong.... what I said, he must have taken it in some other sense.
She cannot fall in love with me..... can she?