Silence [The Hunger Games]

Chapter Twenty-Eight

The night that Kai died, I dreamt of the day that Jonah was born. I can’t have been more than five or six, but memories like that have a tendency to cling on to your mind. I dreamt of the toothless smile he bared at me when I first held him in my arms, and how I cradled him to my chest, knowing then that I would always love him, no matter what.

 The scene changed, and I was in Mayor Golding’s back yard. Logan and I were watching Jonah fly a kite for the first time. And then, all of a sudden, I was whisked away to a meadow. Jonah was there, and Kai. They waved to me, and then ran off into the distance hand in hand.

 I woke with a start. The sun was rising, a beautiful start to the day, with all shades of orange and lemon colours splashed across the morning sky. A new day, I thought. Thirteen of us left.

 It was then that I heard the soft sobbing. My eyes darted around until they fell upon Clementia, her shoulders quivering as she cried, her knees tucked up to her chin and her hair hiding her face. I clambered wearily out of my sleeping bag and crawled to sit beside her. She didn’t acknowledge my presence, just stared ahead with glassy eyes. I tried to put a comforting hand on her shoulder, but she flinched under my touch. So we sat there for a while, not speaking. The only sound that could be heard was the unenthusiastic tweets of a bird. It was as though he knew how we felt. Kai’s death had left a hole in our hearts, but we both knew he had led us one step closer to victory. This went unsaid, however, and Clementia eventually dried her tears with her sleeve.

 “You know, there aren’t many good people in the world. Not completely. But I think Kai was one of them,” she sniffed, giving a shaky laugh that had no relevance to what she had just said. But I knew what she meant, so I nodded, but said nothing. I knew if I did, I would cry again, and that really wasn’t helping the situation.

 “I’ll do some hunting,” I said, standing up and turning my back on her. I really wish now that I hadn’t done that. It felt like a betrayal. But it happened, and there is nothing I can do to change that now.

 I travelled back to the spot where Logan set the snares, knowing the area was abundant with easy prey and not wanting to stray too far from the camp. Waiting for the right time to strike, I crouched down in the undergrowth, hands and knees clutching the soft mud beneath me. Dark tendrils of my hair fell in front of my face, but I didn’t allow it to distract my focus. I had to wait only several minutes before the first sign of life appeared. A small, white rabbit hopped out from behind a tree, unsuspecting of my presence. Still, I shrunk back further into the bushes, staring into the quarry where the rabbit lingered a few moments more before disappearing. I cursed myself for not taking the opportunity to strike. Fortunately, I only waited a short while longer, fuming at myself, before the rabbit returned. I felt a surge of fury in my blood and pounced on the rabbit, plunging my knife through its neck. I straightened up, watching the creature wriggle and writhe, its blood staining the coat of white it wore. Unable to stop myself, my hands began to shake. It felt like watching Kai die. The animal went still and another innocent died before my eyes. I attempted to swallow the lump in my throat, wondering what the Capitol would think of me. Pull yourself together! I thought.

 It was then that I heard the cannon and the merciless laughing. I froze. Someone was close. Someone dangerous. And I suspected I knew who it was.

 In panic, I scrambled up the hill back to my original hiding place, taking caution to shield myself well from any potential attacker’s vision. Just in time to see Roger crash through the trees to where I was stood only a minute earlier. I could hear my heart slamming against my chest and the sound of my breathing as I desperately tried not to show fear at his presence. Not to fear a mad man would make one mad themselves, my father had once told me. Roger was closely followed by Cerebus, Avery and her District partner. I realised it was the first time since arriving in the arena that I had been in such close proximity to my worst enemy on earth.

 “Look at this, Biff,” he said, summoning the boy from District 4. In alarm, I realised that in my rush, I had forgotten to claim my game. And Roger had realised it too. Grinning, he drew the knife from the rabbit’s helpless body and held it up, the blade dripping with blood.

 “She’s near,” he whispered, so quietly I almost didn’t hear him. Then he stood and scanned the area, leisurely yet thoroughly, in only a way someone as mentally disturbed as he could. I held my breath, having never been so petrified in my life. Hoping, praying, wanting him to miss me. His eyes drew to a halt right where I lay.

 And slowly, he smiled.