Ghost Writer [Harry Styles][H.S. Fanfic]

13 - THIS CITY

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It's been one day.

One full day.

Twenty-four hours since Harry kissed me.

And I can't get it out of my mind. I haven't slept. I haven't been able to eat. I've just been laying in my bed, staring at the ceiling, and counting how many rotations a minute my fan spins – but I keep losing track because the image of Harry's bright green eyes and soft pink lips continue popping in my mind, making me start all over.

And I'm getting a little pissed, because I've been at this for hours.

I'm so confused about everything now. I ignorantly thought Harry's feelings for me were innocent and he was just wanting to be my friend... a friend who occasionally made flirty comments, but a friend, nonetheless.

But shit! Spike hits on me all the time, and that man is as gay as a three-dollar bill. I remember the day I found out, I'd come home from an event and he had rearranged my entire place, saying 'Oh, honey! I can explain! I feng shuied your house. There were some bad ju-ju vibes going on in here.' To this day, I still don't know what feng shui is, but he assured me it's life changing. Needless to say, I was shocked as shit... but somehow, it made me like him more.

I got off track. Circling back to my dilemma, my feelings are so conflicted when it comes to Harry, because a piece of my heart has still been tied to my ex ever since I left home to move here. It's not love, though. It's resentment and anger. No. Worse than anger. It's rage.

I didn't know how I could care about someone else when I was still clutching on to those raw emotions for dear life. It's hard to just let go of someone that you made a vow to spend the rest of your life with – only to have that vow broken shortly after. And now I'll always wonder if there was something wrong with me, or why I wasn't good enough for him to stay.

However, unbeknownst to me, that kiss with Harry sparked something inside of me that I didn't know was there. I didn't think I'd ever feel hope again. Hope of moving on from such a dark time in my life and the potential of happiness.

I already knew I had an indescribable connection with Harry. That much was evident ever since our first kiss... Hell, even before that. Every interaction with him felt like I was being drawn in like a magnet. But kissing him, it cemented that feeling, and apparently it only grew stronger over time.

My bag was already packed for my trip to Kauai last night. I leave in a couple days, and I'm dreading it. As excited as I am to see Spike and my old house, I really don't want to see my ex. It's just too painful and seeing him will only slice open old wounds... but I don't have much of a choice in the matter.