Secret Santa

☃︎Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ Fɪғᴛᴇᴇɴ☃︎

"Okay guys, we want to have a hap-happy Christmas party this year, so we're going to go over a few things!" Mark claps his hands together as he bounces on the balls of his feet. He points a finger gun at Ewan. Ewan clicks the little remote, and the PowerPoint presentation begins.

"Okay, we needed an acronym to learn this shit, so I came up with an acronym. The acronym is 'F.A.N.N.Y.' Any questions so far?"

Jasper raises his hand with a mischievous gleam in his eye. Pippa nudges him, but she doesn't say anything. Mark grins widely and claps his hands together.

"Nice! Jasper! What's up man?"

"What does F.A.N.N.Y. stand for?" Jasper asks. Mark bounces on his feet again, pointing to Ewan. Ewan changes the slide, and Mark claps his hands together.

"I'm so glad you asked, man! F.A.N.N.Y. stands for...drumroll please!" Pippa and Jasper start the drumroll by slapping their thighs, and only Ewan and Mary follow suit. Mark grins nonetheless.

"F is for Fun is going to happen if. A stands for All of you bitches are good people. N is for Now listen up bitches. N is for Nobody needs to get bombed again. Y is for Yield to the people around you. Thanks for the fast clicking, Ewan, and any more questions?" Mark lucks his lips as he looks around the room. Nobody raises a hand. He claps his hands together, slightly bouncing.

"Great! Mary, please pass out the F.A.N.N.Y. fliers, and I will now transition into the next stage of the meeting! I need a main bitch up here, so...Pippa!" Pippa and Jasper share an amused glance as they recall their promise to one another; always do whatever Mark says when he volunteers you to help in a meeting. Pippa wades through the chairs to the front of the room with a smile. Mark shakes her hand in greeting.

"Bonjour, malady!" Mark winks, "For Act I, you will be yourself, and I will be a delivery man! How does that sound?" Pippa nods.

"Perfect!" She replies. Silently, she wonders if Mark's using the plot of a porno to teach the office something about safety. It wouldn't be the first time.

Mark claps his hands together. "Great! Give me one second! I have a prop!"

As Mark jogs out of the room, Pippa casts a wide-eyed glance to Jasper. Jasper shrugs lazily, obviously minutes away from peals of laughter.

"Pip, I gave your flier to Jasper. That okay?" Mary asks quietly, sidling up beside Pippa. Pippa nods with a small smile.

"Yes, thank you." Mary gives her a brief thumbs up before returning to her seat.

Mark bounds back into the room, carefully holding a small, white cardboard box to his chest. He closes the door with his foot.

"I'm back bitches! Okay, Act I, and action!" Mark hands the box to Pippa, and in a horrible French accent says, "Dees came for you malady. A vurry sexy man came to me an sayd 'give dees to de vurry lovely leettle Peepa!' I sayd 'okey sur! I weell do!' So now open eet!"

Mark stands back as Pippa observes the box with a raised eyebrow. She looks at Mark. Is this her Secret Santa gift? Is Mark her Secret Santa? Is Mark revealing her Secret Santa?

"Open eet! Eet ees from de man who ees vurry sexy!" Mark exclaims in his terrible French accent. Pippa pops open the lid. Inside, she finds white and red sparkly tissue paper wrapped tightly in a ball. She unravels it slowly.

"Hurry eet up malady! I have many works to do!" Mark exclaims, gesticulating wildly. Pippa briefly glances at him before pulling out a porcelain object from the paper. It's an ornament of some sort. She turns it. It's a sleigh!

Pippa dangles the sleigh by its ribbon over the box and admires it. The sleigh is little, blue in colour with golden swirls, and it has a few flecks of sparkle. She places it inside the box carefully.

It's then Pippa notices a white envelope taped to the inside of the box. She peels it off the lid and opens it, then doing the same to the card. The message is a brief apology followed by a question.

"Read eet malady! I have to geet my work done!" Mark exclaims. Scarlett scoffs from the middle of the room.

"Shut up already, Mark! Your accent is appalling!" Mark scoffs in return.

"You hush, leetle woman! Your opeeneeon ees maddening and eerelephant!"

Jasper can't do it anymore. He lets out a hearty laugh, slapping his thigh and leaning his head back so far, he nearly topples the chair backward. Mark starts breaking character trying to hold back his laughter, but he fails.  He sinks to his knees, banging on the floor with his fist. Next to crack is Ewan, who slides out of his chair to copy Mark.

Everyone else watches in apprehension.

Mary, in the midst of the chaos, manages to make it next to Pippa and snatch the card. She opens it, reading the message.

"'Day 3. Dear Pippa, the last note was abrasive and gross. I'm so sorry. Would you like to go on a sleigh ride when you figure out who I am? From Secret Santa.' It's better than the last one, I guess." Mary hands the card back to Pippa. "Just be wary, Pippa. It could be Ewan."

Pippa sucks in a breath. That wouldn't be so bad, but it wouldn't be good either. Ewan can be a nice guy when he tries. Key word: tries.

Mary leaves the conference room, and several others follow her. Mark, Ewan, and Jasper remain laughing in the floor, now laying on their backs.

"Okay, maniacs. We're going to do our jobs now," Scarlett says harshly, stepping over Mark on her way out. The men heave for breath.

Pippa returns to her desk as well with confusion surrounding her mind.

Who is her Secret Santa?