apples and scented candles • h.potter ✓

• thirty-four •

Harry felt a sense of immense peace and relief when he woke up with Corben snuggled in his arms. After the recent ordeal he had faced, the serenity felt as though it was a dream that would shatter with the slightest disturbance. So he remained absolutely stationary even when his arm went numb under Corben's weight.

He freed his other hand from the tangle of the blanket and slowly brought it up to Corben's face. He touched his cheek lightly, then stroked his hair, as gently as he could so as not to wake him. Corben mumbled but stayed asleep.

Harry gazed into his face unblinkingly. It was hard to believe how young Corben was when he was determinedly shooting spells under the large domed ceiling of the training hall at the Ministry, or when he was screwing up his face in concentration while trying to memorise spells from his book. His true age showed when Corben smiled or spoke about things unrelated to his dream career. Or when he slept.

Right now, Harry was mesmerised by the carefree look in his face as he slept on his shoulder. Knowing that he would have to wake up in a few minutes and start a consistent day-long worry about his future saddened him. If it were up to Harry, he would have let him sleep as long as he liked, brought his breakfast to bed, and kept him snuggled in the blankets all day.

But that could not be done. Corben had no choice but to go through the same stress every day and return home tired and sleepy. Harry couldn't help but wonder if Corben would lose interest in being an Auror when he actually became one. Just as he has.

No, surely not. The situation was different in the case of Harry. He had just come out of the war and was a sensational public celebrity when he was thrown into the Ministry to serve the people. Sure, he had decided he wanted to be an Auror when Barty Crouch Jr impersonating Mad-Eye Moody had suggested it to him. Sure, he had said the same thing to McGonagall when they were asked to choose their careers. But he was merely fifteen then and a fifteen-year-old surely wasn't capable of always knowing what he wanted.

He hadn't gone through any training, he hadn't known what being an Auror entailed. He had accepted Kingsley's offer because that was what was expected of him, of Harry Potter who had been responsible for countless deaths and sufferings and whose job it was now to make up for them.

No. It wasn't. Harry closed his eyes and tried to think of Ron and Hermione. Ron, who always assured him that he hadn't made anyone fight in the war. Hermione, who never failed to remind him that he wasn't responsible for anyone's choices. People who gave their lives did it for themselves, for their future, or for their children's future, not for him. Sometimes Harry found himself spiralling into an endless chasm of self-blame and survivor's guilt, but thinking of his best friends helped to convince himself that yes, he wasn't to be blamed for being born and having a dumb prophecy attached to his head.

He opened his eyes again. Yes, he was an Auror. And yes, he was forced into it, though it had not seemed like that at the time. Corben was different. He wasn't being pressured into becoming an Auror by his family members, least of all by the public. In fact, he was being discouraged. He was making his own choices and he knew exactly what he was getting into. He wouldn't start losing interest like Harry did. He would leap through every obstacle that came his way and Harry would be there to cheer him on.

Unwittingly, Harry smiled. He gently reached forward and pressed his lips over Corben's forehead. He was unable to be discreet this time as Corben stirred and opened his eyes. "Morning, Harry," he mumbled in a barely audible voice. He rolled aside, allowing Harry to free his arm though it refused to move. "Will you go to work today?"

"Yeah," Harry said nonchalantly. He massaged his arm to coax his blood to flow again. Corben dropped his feet off the side of the bed and hunted for his clothes as Harry yawned and asked, "What's Audra making you do today?"