Holiday Fluff

🧥 Shirabu Kenjirou

It's been three years since you and Shirabu decided to move in together. You met each other during your freshman year in medical school, and have dated for over a year before renting out an apartment near the hospital the two of you were interning for.

In the four years that you've been dating, you haven't gone on a single official 'date'. The well thought-out and planned kind of date. Not even once. You didn't mind it that much though. You're both medical students and understood how demanding being a med student can be. And it wasn't like you didn't have time for each other too, it's just that most of your time together are spent studying or on duty in the hospital. And you guys still get to go on spontaneous dates if you're lucky.

This was also one of the reasons why you agreed to move in with him. In this way, not only is it convenient for you while having your internship at the hospital, but it also lets you save more time for each other.

Today was one of those days when you and Shirabu were supposed to have that kind of "date". But the hospital has been so busy these past few days, so the two of you didn't get to go Christmas shopping for your families. You both ended up agreeing to do the last minute Christmas shopping together, today.

"Have you already thought of something to give your parents?" Shirabu asked as you got off the train to the shopping district.

"Maybe something that they could display at home. Something that would remind them of me whenever they see it."

"Mmm.." Shirabu nodded in approval. "I was thinking of the same thing. We're mostly away from them now, it would be much better to give them something that they could see everyday."

You spotted a lot of couples on your way to your first destination. It wasn't really your intention but, you couldn't help but notice how they were all holding hands as they walked along the crowded streets. You looked down at your own hand dangling beside Shirabu's.

"We've never held hands in public before." you thought to yourself. They were so close to touching each other, but neither of you shows any attempt to grab on to the other's hand.

Feeling the back of your hand brush slightly against his, you thought of initiating the act. But after a careful self-deliberation, you decided against it, afraid that Shirabu would not like it.

Even after years of being together, you're still having a difficult time gauging Shirabu's moods when you're outside. His face is as expressionless as ever. The only time that he wears his heart on his sleeves is when he sets for Ushijima or whenever he nags at Goshiki. You haven't seen him react to anything else. Probably an occasional small smile here and there, but that's it.

It's completely different from when you're at home though. He's always so relaxed and carefree at home. He even acts a bit needy sometimes, but that's only when he's extremely tired and just finished studying. Others might describe it as Shirabu being "out of character". But even then, it was only for a little while because the both of you are mostly in school or on duty in the hospital.

Regardless of that, you've always felt adored and appreciated whenever you're with him. He doesn't really say it a lot, but you just know that he loves you, and cares deeply for you. But sometimes, you still wished for him to be more vocal with his feelings.

Shirabu on the other hand, was aware of how you gawked at the couples that passed by. He was about to ask you why, when he found you staring at your hands. He watched as you tried to hold his and witnessed the hesitation that came across you.

He suddenly got nervous when he realized what you were trying to do. It's not that he didn't want to hold hands with you. It's just that he wasn't used to it and felt ashamed of himself that he didn't even think about doing this with you after years of being your boyfriend. Being intimate privately and publicly are two entirely different things.