Come Home to Me...Darling | PJM

Storms | Part 1

It was subtle really. Blink once and you'd miss it.

The first time Jimin cheated on you was two years into your marriage. An older lady, Jessica something – beautiful and elegant. You remember her as one of Jimin's college professors, an intelligent woman who loved France and fine things. Running into her at a charity gala caught him by surprise, he seemed to forget your existence for the half hour they spent conversing. You couldn't blame him, you were never the most interesting person, and she had all the wits on her side. Consequently, finding a text on his phone two weeks later that read 'Last night was amazing, but it can't happen again...' caught you by surprise. 

He took a long relaxing shower as you gripped his left open phone and wept in your shared bedroom. After what felt like hours; he came out, wet hair sleeked back, a towel loosely hanging on his hips and gave you a tiny peck as you set up dinner.

It took you so long to recover. Softly becoming withdrawn and half of a living shell. Yet he continued to torture you with his endearing smile, his cheesy dialogues, and piercing stares until the memory faded away; the gala, the meeting, the text. Soon you were in his arms again, making sweet love to your first love. Drowning out the images of the text, convincing yourself you misunderstood, as you always do. Jimin is a difficult man to figure out after all. Even if it did happen, it's over now – Jimin stayed with you and that's what counts. Anyone else would have left your miserable self years ago, no?

And in the end that became your truth, no matter how hard your conscious tried to tell you otherwise when you laid awake in the middle of the night. But you wanted to save your marriage, so you left no stone unturned. You sank any rational thoughts and feelings – pushing them deep inside a hidden vault – never to float above the thin striped surface of your happiness. Into your own Pandora box. As long as Jimin comes home to you.

You never spoke of it.

The second time he was unfaithful was with his so-called best friend Mina about a year and a half later. His age, long curly hair and doe eyes – she was one of the guys. Preferring sweatpants over skirts and gaming over the salon, she easily befriended Jimin with similar interests. She was so different from you, so youthful and quirky. It happened repeatedly; with someone he's known for so long...someone who knows you exist – and how much you love him. Dread settles in your stomach like a rock, as you thought this might be it, he'll be taken away from you this time. And even though he came home every time, it still hurt more and more. How could you let this happen again? Why were you never good enough? Getting to the point where you could no longer tolerate the heartache, you hesitantly confronted him about it one day. 

After he missed your anniversary date and came home with messy hair, ruffled clothes and a hint of a love bite, of course. No way for anyone to deny that...even if you tried.

Jimin came back to you a mess. He was careless. It was 5 in the morning and half the city was deep asleep. Holding you in a smothering back hug he cried and cried and cried. Rushed apologies fell from his lips as he soaked the back of your night dress with tears. Turning to face him, you cupped his jaw, wiping away the tears occupying his cheeks. Any curses you might have wanted to say to him fell away into the void, as you gently give him a hug. He's trembling through his cries as he holds you back tighter than ever. Closing your own damp eyes, you try to calm your loud heart with his scent.

You look into the windows of his soul – he looks lost – scared almost, just like a little boy. Not the man you've grown accustomed to. Yet you wait for a response, opening your ears for him to repent, to apologize. Because that's who Park Jimin is – he wouldn't hurt anyone like this. This isn't him.

"I-I-I'm s-sorry...*hic* I-It didn't mean an-anything *hic*," He barely made out a sentence

"Do you...love her?" You cringe as soon as you word out love. Never in your life had you been more afraid than in that moment, waiting for his response. Which took him a minute as he faced away from you, clenching his eyes shut. Trying to drown out the expression of agony on your face – all because of him.