"It had been 4 months since I had told you I though you were spectacular, 3 monthes since you had grabbed my waist and pulled me into you, and 2 mothes since you had told me that you didn't care about me and led me on. I was heartbroken. All my friends were furious that you could do such a thing. I just wanted you to love me. I sometimes dream about what it would be like. What it would be like to lie in your bed with my hand on the side if your face, looking in your eyes and your hand on my hip. I always loved your eyes. They reminded me of the lake I grew up on. Deep, blue and holding lots of secrets. Last night you kissed me for the first time. I was so confused because I thought you didn't care. Maybe I was wrong. I had wanted to feel your lips pressed against mine and feel your tounge on the roof of my mouth and to taste your words. I had wanted to kiss you for so long and now that I have, I want more."
I had written this for you 2 weeks ago. I took me two weeks to realize that you meant nothing. It took me two weeks to realize that you would never love me. It took me two weeks to realize that I had always been your backup plan. Now that you are gone I feel so much lighter. I know that you will continue to make girls you don't care for feel the way you made me feel, and I don't care. I feel sorry for you. I feel sorry that you will never experience true love for someone, where there is no backup plan and there is no unfaithfulness. I feel sorry that you will never feel as though you could love one girl for the rest of your life without getting bored. I feel sorry that no one will trust you with there heart because they know you will rip it to shreds.
I now have flowers in my mind and stars in my eyes and it is not because of you, its because of me.
