What it feels like to be dead

Chapter One

I look down at the sleeping girl in my arms. Fuck, I love her.

I didn't understand how I could be so enchanted with someone and also so scared of the power they hold over me. But maybe that was love.

At eleven years old when I first received the Hogwarts letter, I was a nervous wreck of a child. Now in fifth year, I sit in the Hufflepuff common room holding the love of my life, contemplating how to tell her the most tedious news I can even imagine.

She was in love with me too, as she had said so many times. But this news might change her view of me forever. She might dump me, hate me, or worse.

Though, she was my love, and she deserved the truth. But, holy shit, was it going to be difficult.

Lynn's eyes open slowly and she smiles groggily, sitting up on my legs. "Morning, A."

"Good morning, or night I suppose. You slept the whole day away!" I say. She giggles making my heart flutter.

"You weren't too bored, were you?" She asks.

"No, I did some homework. But got distracted because you're so adorable when you sleep." I lean down to kiss her nose.

Her smile gets wider and she adjusts herself so she's at eye level with me. She pecks me on the lips.

"Children!"

We both jump at the loudness of Kivo's voice.

Kivothe Cottonhill had been our best friend since first year. He completely supported our relationship and was the only one who knew my secret. The very same secret I had been struggling to tell Lynn since year three, when I finally figured myself out.

I know she has so many questions, as did Kivo before he finally pried the truth out of me. Like, why I never used the bathroom around anyone or why I haven't been into the dormitory since year two. Why I flinch every time someone calls me 'Miss Patton.'

"What do you want?" Lynn says, but she is smiling.

"I'm bored." His words are drawn out and monotone but his eyes are twinkling. He launches himself at us, landing sideways on top of Lynn, making her squeal.

"You little shit!" She yells, pushing him off of her. He screams as he pulls her with him.

"Kids, be nice," I say, laughing. They both are drawn away from their bickering and turn to me.

They glance at each other and seem to come to a silent agreement, coupled with matching evil smirks.

"Your turn!" Lynn grabs my left arm and Kivo my right. They ignore my squirming in protest and pull me to the floor.

I laugh and playfully shove them both.

"Mister Cottonhill. Miss Grath. Miss Patton," Professor Sprout's voice cuts through our fun and I wince.

Miss.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" She asks, but we all know she doesn't want an answer to that question in particular.

Maybe I could say we thought it was morning? No. How about we couldn't sleep? No...

Luckily, Kivo jumps in before I can make a fool of myself. "Professor, I really do apologize. We got a bit carried away and forgot the time. Please forgive us."

Oh, he was a suck up. But, occasionally, that came in handy.

Sprout's eyes softened. "I bet you did. If you all go into your dorms right now, I'll let you off the hook."

Damn, this one would be tricky.