"Hello?" "Um, hey?" "Wait, you don't sound like my Aunt Kathy." "Unless I was miraculously converted into a member of the opposite gender and somehow related to whoever is on the other side of this call, then yeah. I'm not your Aunt Kathy." "Oh, shiitake mushrooms." ...
❝hi this is Panda Express, how may I help you?❞ ❝can i have one order of general tso's chicken? hold the chicken, double the vegetables.❞ ❝how in the world is that general tso's chicken?❞ ☂ lowercase intended. story inspired by many others. ☂ -- just a pinch of love #1 -- #339 in humor 1/2/15
[Completed] "Because the way to a girl's heart is by dating other girls." *CURRENTLY BEING EDITED* Highest ranking: 1 in Short Story ©fictively
❝Hello, this is the Starb-❞ ❝HEEELP ME!! PLEASE! THERE'S A MURDERER IN MY HOUSE!❞ ❝OH SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!! WHAT DO I DO?! THIS IS STARBUCKS, NOT FREAKING 911. WAIT, HOLD ON. TRY TO KEEP YOURSELF ALIVE, I'LL CALL 911!! STAY CALM. IT'S GOING TO BE O- ❞ ❝Wait...did you just say Starbucks?❞ ❝Um...yeah?❞ ❝They have a hotlin...