In which a boy attempts to parent a mess-of-a-caller. But parenting just doesn't work that way. ████████████████ Written in dialogue form. Also written when I was like 15 so please don't come for me :') Not a sequel to "Teenage Helpline". © @MiaNightlock. Cover made by me.
[sequel to teen helpline] ❝Hello, this is the Breakup Helpline, designed and manufactured to cater to your brokenhearted needs. How may I help you?❞ ❝My girlfriend...just cheated on me. With my best friend.❞ ❝Um..uh, hold on...oh, fuck! There's nothing on how to respond to that in these answer sheets!❞ ...
❝HELP HELP HELLLP!❞ ❝Hello, this is the Fine Apple market, and no, we are not an Apple knockoff store; how may I help you?❞ ❝Well, someone just stole my phone.❞ ❝Sorry, what?❞ ❝You asked how you could help me.❞ ❝...Oh.❞ ◽︎◾︎◽︎ in which a jittery workaholic who realizes she needs help and an antisocial beach bum who do...