"Hello?" "Um, hey?" "Wait, you don't sound like my Aunt Kathy." "Unless I was miraculously converted into a member of the opposite gender and somehow related to whoever is on the other side of this call, then yeah. I'm not your Aunt Kathy." "Oh, shiitake mushrooms." ...
"Give me ten days, and I can give you ten reasons not to die." Evan paused. "And if I can't change your mind by then, you can go jump off that cliff."
(IMAGE SENT) Lana tell me, is my left boob bigger than my right? Delivered at 9:08 PM This isn't Lana but, HOLY TITS! ...
Unknown Number: Well you gotta give me something! Hell, anything! You can't just dangle this in front of me for the rest of my life! Me: I wasn't planning on it... Unknown Number: Blackmail is a crime, you know! Me: I'M NOT BLACKMAILING YOU! Unknown Number: WHERE'S YOUR SENSE OF ADVENTURE! YOU GET AN OPPORTUNITY LIKE...