Charlotte

Dear honey,

I just got this feeling today that I want to remodel the house, so I moved some things around. I hope you don't mind. I also changed the bedsheets for you because I noticed that you and Ronnie forgot to clean up after the mess you made last night. While I was at it, I decided to give your car a new paint job. I was so generous to even prepare a meal for you guys. I made mild spicy chicken for you, because I know for a fact that assholes can't handle anything hotter than that, and for Ronnie I prepared the Royal Canin packaged dog food because I heard that it's the best brand out there and bitches literally drool over it. Enjoy your meals!

Yours truly,

Charlotte