Can't Say No

Quietly, I climbed down the rope ladder and sat with my back against the tree trunk. It was cold tonight, but I didn't care. Sighing, I pulled out my pocket knife and started blindly twirling it around. Within minuets I had a new set of cuts on my finger tips, and small droplets of blood had covered the blade. The pricks of pain felt good, but I knew it was a bad idea to continue this. Still, I kept twirling the small knife in my hands, every now and then switching to my other hand. Life was so confusing now, it wasn't even funny.