@-cxvey
Y'all
Can we just mention how much gender euphoria I got my mumbling "I'm jax." To myself
Like damn my dead name
It's goneeee
Well- it will be gone when I come out lmao
"I'm in a really bad place at the moment – you wouldn't understand"
- my mother, as she proceeds to act like I'm her therapist friend and tells me loads of reasons she is stressed, and therefore making me stressed
Sometimes I wish I could lend you by ears,
Lend you my thoughts,
And lend you my tears
—
The way my dad — my DAD, the alcoholic who can't really deal with children but he tries — he's the one that's noticed it's getting bad again. He was the one who asked what happened to my arm. Tried to cheer me up this morning.
@svnburnt yessss But tbh my mother was always there when I was younger, she was literally my idol, and I absolutely hated my dad But now I see my mother is toxic, and she has never really been as good And now I'm older, my dad knows how to deal with me, and it's so strange because the roles are totally reversed
I relapsed chat
pretty much total profile revamp lmao
I almost forgot how much I love making themed bios
HIHIHIHI!!!
me: *makes important announcement*
also me, like seven minutes later: *deletes without a word*
You know
If I hadn't of hesitated
If I hadn't of paused
Things would be so, so different.
And I don't know how to feel about it.
Like my mother is so oblivious to my issues it's actually funny.
Me, the closeted queer kid who is real depressed
Mother: look at my lovely daughter she is so happy. *acts like im still about ten yo.*
Me: *dysphoria, social anxiety, and irrational fera of being a failure kicks in* Hi- yeah I'm happy
*jax was not, in fact, happy.*
@l0vel0rnforlegolas like I can sing happier than ever twice a week, crying as I sing, and my mother doesn't thing anything is wrong with me, or teh family as a whole. *-*
Me: *escapes reality via book/films , which often involving watching/reading one over and over until I can barely think of muhc else, because not thinking is safer than thinking too much*
Mum: *blissfully unaware of why I rematch and reread things and talk about them a lot* you should stop 'obsessing' over things
me, last night: okay *actually stops, and listens to music instead*
Depression: guess who's back
@l0vel0rnforlegolas i have now proceeded to just going back to escaping reality *sparkle* Like my mother, I swear, is the most oblivious person on the planet
I'm aware that the hobbit films are shit compared to the books
BUT
it's my shit. I love it.
Like who cares if it's accurate to the original book
Btw-
Can we talk about thorin and bilbo for a quick second
THAT. SHOULD'VE. BEEN. CANON.