Adriana Marie

I never let myself need anybody because people always leave. I never let myself trust anybody because they always let you down. And I never, ever let myself love someone because I know they'll never love me back. So I end up pushing people away whenever they get close, because it's so much easier to choose to be alone than to be made to feel unwanted. But it was different with you because you actually cared about me. I have no idea why, but you did. And that scared me so much, so I took what we once had for granted, and now it's too late to change that. But it's made me realize how lonely I am, without your silly jokes bout my favorite football team, your decorated, black - and - white arms, and your "I'm honestly gonna get rid of it soon" stubble against my cheek. And I never told you this, what i should have said. And I'm so, so sorry. Because you are wonderful, in every possible way there is for a human to be. And I'd change it if I could. All of it. I'd do it all again, but better. I'd never let you go.

"You are the books you read, the films you watch, the music you listen to, the people you meet, the dreams you have, the conversations you engage in. You are what you take from these. You are the sound of the ocean, the breath of fresh air, the brightest light and the darkest corner. You are a collective of every experience you have had in your life. You are every single second of every single day. So drown yourself of a sea of knowledge and existence. Let the words run through your veins and let the colours fill your mind."

I beg young people to travel. If you don't have a passport, get one. Take a summer, get a backpack and go to Delhi, go to Saigon, go to Bangkok, go to Kenya. Have your mind blown, eat interesting food, dig some interesting people, have an adventure, be careful. Come back and you're going to see your country differently, you're going to see your president differently, no matter who it is. Music, culture, food, water. Your showers will become shorter. You're going to get some sense of what globalization looks like. It's not what Tom Friedman writes about, I'm sorry you're going to see that global climate change is very real. And that for some people their day consists of walking 12 miles for four buckets of water. And so there are lessons you can't get out of a book that are waiting for you at the other end at that flight. A lot of people - Americans and Europeans - come back and go, "ohhhhh". And the light bulb goes on. ~ Henry Rollins

I will never understand why I ended up this way or what the reason was for. I'll never understand why this world is so fucked up and barely anyone cares. I'll never understand how people can say they love someone then leave them for someone else. I'll never understand a lot of things, like why people lie, cheat, and steal. Why they are rude, mean, bitchy, horrible, and inconsiderate. I;ll never understand how pain never goes away. I'll never understand love or hate. I'll never understand life.

Ever have that one person in your life that you just can't give up on, the one person that can screw you over time after time, yet you always seem to give them another chance? And no matter how many times you say this is their last one, you know it's a lie because there's always just one more waiting for them. The person you know you're better off without, but you can't find a way to let them go?

There's so much worth living for, and if you can't seem to find a reason- I want you here.

I've said it once
          I've said it twice
          I've said it a thousand fucking times
          That I'm okay
          That I'm fine
          That it's all just in my mind
          But this has got the best of me & I can't seem to sleep.