An aspiring writer.

I am not a tree. 

I am a lazy musician.

I am a fanatical sketcher.

I longboard, surf, and can take a good-sized ramp with a beach cruiser.

I don't look it, but I can and will beat you to a bloody quivering pulp if you make me mad enough.  Blame my Irish heritage.

I really need to sleep.

I'm a proud bisexual.  Well, it's more pansexual because it never really mattered to me what gender a person was, they just had to kind of click with me. 

Just came out to my mom and got a 30 minute lecture about hormones. Why?  No idea.  God, mom.

Whoever guesses my identity, gender, or age gets a virtual cookie.

I have another account on Wattpad, but I'm not going to tell anyone what it is.  This account is my alter-identity.

Like superman.

This account is going to be the one where I tell people exactly what I think of them, no strings attached.  I will not cut you down with meaningless insults, but if you need to improve something I will bloody tell you.

A really good friend once told me to "Get off your white ass and ask the girl out," but I didn't.  And I regretted it ever since.


I hate video games.  They are turning fun people into f*cking zombies.


Me:  Yo, wanna play airsoft?

Dude:  Naw, I'm playing COD.  Wanna join?

Me:  *shoots him in the throat and finds someone else to play with*


Yeah.  I really, really hate video games, even though I'm rather good at them, if I try.


Ladies, no one really cares about your problems.  Get a counselor.


Guys, if you stare down her shirt she is going to Taser you.  Or you'll end up with Herpes, whichever comes first.



I think I need a pen name.  Like, an alter-ego.  Something that's not TOO gender specific, because I like no one knowing anything about me.  

Hmmmm. . . .Drew.  That's it.  


Now I'm all proud of myself.

I hope you enjoy my story.

Love you all.



Drew