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Hi! You may have noticed some of these projects have disappeared. That's because publishers have expressed tentative interest in some of these and I have removed them for re-editing and reworking. Dankie!

Thank you for all the votes and the comments! It's nice to be back after such a long absence and hear good things about my efforts.

Hi everybody. Hallo almal. Apologies for my lengthy absence. Die Kersfees-vakansie het sy tol geëeis! I will soon continue updating my stories. Daar is ook binnekort weer iets in Afrikaans...

Hallo almal,
          Dit spyt my dat ek die teks "Hulle" moes verwyder. Daar is 'n 1% moontlikheid dat iemand die idee wil gebruik in 'n screenplay, en ek wil graag daarop fokus sodat ek dit in daardie geval eerder kan oorskryf in 'n ander formaat. Dis jammer, want nou is my enigste Afrikaanse storie verwyder van Wattpad... ek sal moet dink aan iets anders! Is daar iemand wat 'n onderwerp wil voorstel? Laat my gerus weet!

Baie dankie, Johan en John, vir julle reaksies. Thank you for your responses. I was in Bloemfontein this weekend and when I wanted to fly back on Sunday the airline (Blue Crane) told me that they had cancelled my booking because they only had a few bookings on their flight. Those of us were shifted to a later flight with Mango. I was furious! But there's a lesson here. So far, only two of you have indicated that you want me to continue this site. I don't want to be like Blue Crane and chuck the whole thing because of low bookings. Two people who really enjoy the crap I'm writing here is a good enough reason to continue! Instede daarvan om op te hou sal ek hierdie bladsye bietjie redesign en kyk of ek dit interessanter kan maak. Thank you for your responses. Perhaps, in time, this garden will yield something truly nutritious! Ek voel nou bietjie beter. Watch this space!

I am considering shutting this page down (see previous note). Is there any of the texts you would like me to continue with?

Dear Friends, after returning from the studio, where we had spent more than a month recording a new album, it is with a sense of vertigo that I revisit this site. Compared to my other social media profiles, this is certainly the ugly duckling. I am considering shutting it down and continuing work on these texts in some other way. 
          
          I have had lots of valuable feedback in the time I spent on Wattpad. I have learned, to my astonishment, that the most popular text on this site - "It's Always Friday Somewhere in the Universe" had been the one I took least seriously. Other texts, like "Twitter Dawn", have become almost entirely obsolete due to changes in the IT industry and other factors. As for "Nineteen Eighty Foreplay" - my ideas about feminism and the battle of the sexes have evolved since I started this novel, and I'm not sure the slapstick approach is the best. Human evil, or "male and female" evil, is a more subtle terrain to navigate. If one wants to create a truly nasty woman character, why make her a gross Medusa-like monster when creating a Hilary Clinton would be so much more scary?
          
          As for "The Bronkhorstspruit Book of the Dead" - I quite like this one, and some of you do too. I need your advice... should I carry on with it? And in what form? As a blog? If you want to read more of this, I will post a link here, or on Twitter, as soon as it is up and going.
          
          Thank you for bearing with my uncertainty and self-doubt! Any feedback would be appreciated! Thank you!

Thank you for your patience, my friends! 
          As you may have noticed, I have resumed updating my stories. Starting next week, delivery will be faster! Happy reading! Groete by die huis!

Updates to these texts will resume after the KKNK festival. Dankie vir julle geduld!

PS: Speaking of chapter lengths, what about the length of sentences? I myself have a tendency to use over-long sentences. I think this is a hangover from the days when my greatest role models were writers like Kerouac and Ginsberg from the Beat Generation. 
          There was one time, three years ago, when I set out to write the longest sentence known to man. In a week of angst and fury, I churned out a 17,000 word novel consisting of ONE SINGLE SENTENCE. It was written in my home language, Afrikaans, and I called it "waansin", which means "insanity". 
          Understandably, none of my regular publishers wanted to touch it. It was possibly the angriest, most disjointed piece of literature ever produced. It was very good therapy, though. In fact, it was a turning point in my life. After producing that manuscript, I managed to turn my life around, make peace with all my enemies, and settle down to a normal life of writing stories and columns. I even recorded an album of spiritual music!
          I think I am now cured of the all-enveloping fury and utter misery that engulfed my life at that point.
          I am tempted to make that text available on Wattpad to my Afrikaans readers in South Africa as a retrospective exercise. The only thing that bothers me is that some parts are truly offensive. So perhaps I won't.  It's a difficult decision, and one I won't make in a hurry.
          Will this book mean anything to anybody now? Ek het geen fokken idee nie! Wat moet ek doen?