Ardef38

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Here's your random bi-yearly reminder that I exist but adult life is genuinely kicking my ass so hard and I just want it to stop : ' )
          	
          	but uh.. I may finally be getting able to get my coworkers hot gf to sit on my face?! Hello?! I met her yesterday morning while helping said coworker move him and his gf out of their apartment and into their new home and she's absolutely adorable I just wanna break her T^T anyways. Gay panic time: she called me stunning?!?!?!?!?! She also said that I was really intimidating bc I had that fake tism confidence xD 
          	
          	My coworker also told me that I was the only one he trusted to help move them out of their apartment because I'm the only one that wouldn't judge or react if I found a random sex toy hanging around xD we love him for that. 
          	Also him and my bf get along fantastically and we love that for them. Bestie bf's and gf's except the gf's fuck each other LMAO 
          	
          	My life is turning into one of my own books and im not mad about it. We love life flipping upside down and having no idea what's going on but going with the flow of everything anyways xD 
          	
          	But yeah, im still alive somehow xD love you guys ❤️❤️

Meharkaurg

@Ardef38That's good girl better than leaving a boring life. Though for me things are crazy as I've started a business of my own. My brain is used million times a day i swear
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Ardef38

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Here's your random bi-yearly reminder that I exist but adult life is genuinely kicking my ass so hard and I just want it to stop : ' )
          
          but uh.. I may finally be getting able to get my coworkers hot gf to sit on my face?! Hello?! I met her yesterday morning while helping said coworker move him and his gf out of their apartment and into their new home and she's absolutely adorable I just wanna break her T^T anyways. Gay panic time: she called me stunning?!?!?!?!?! She also said that I was really intimidating bc I had that fake tism confidence xD 
          
          My coworker also told me that I was the only one he trusted to help move them out of their apartment because I'm the only one that wouldn't judge or react if I found a random sex toy hanging around xD we love him for that. 
          Also him and my bf get along fantastically and we love that for them. Bestie bf's and gf's except the gf's fuck each other LMAO 
          
          My life is turning into one of my own books and im not mad about it. We love life flipping upside down and having no idea what's going on but going with the flow of everything anyways xD 
          
          But yeah, im still alive somehow xD love you guys ❤️❤️

Meharkaurg

@Ardef38That's good girl better than leaving a boring life. Though for me things are crazy as I've started a business of my own. My brain is used million times a day i swear
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HannaH_Bang_is_hot

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Hello dear,
          I hope you had a great day. 
          When I first got on Wattpad I was reading a lot of hyunlix books. And in those books I always saw your account. You're basically like a Wattpad idol for me. Recently I remember this great hyunlix book that was ongoing when I last read it but can't find it anymore. I was wondering if you maybe know if it was still on Wattpad or where it is now or even just the name
          
          It went something like this:
          
          Hyunjin was a homophobic bastard because of household issues and his dad being a rich homophobic bitch. Felix was a new student and their school and obviously gay. So hyunjin was going bully him after school and almost sis that but ended up fucking him. He still thought he was straight though and continued being homophobic. YET he continued fucking Felix. At some point he ends up caring about Felix and realizes he's gay.
          
          I think it was called "epiphany"
          
          Could you please help out ♡

Meharkaurg

@HannaH_Bang_is_hot Yes I know this story but author deleted that story and her account so that story is no longer available
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Ardef38

@HannaH_Bang_is_hot im so sorry i haven't seen this!! My wattpad ended up archiving itself so I stopped getting notifications LMAO IM SO SORRY!! but god I remember reading that one but can't remember for the life of me what it's called. Sounds similar to In The Dark by JLT but I can't remember reading one called epiphany. I stopped reading on wattpad a while ago so they're all a blur xD I moved to reading on Tumblr and now I'm even reading physical smut books (haunting adeline series if you or anyone who sees this is wondering) but i hope you've found it by now!!!
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Ardef38

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Guys I forgot to mention but I'm finally reading the Haunting/Hunting Adeline series. Lets fucking G O!

Ardef38

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@l1issaa lmao late update but I finally had the time to finish the first book some time last week and im obsessed. The second book says it's much darker and I can't wait but GOD I work so much xD I love the first book a lot! I'm sorry you were traumatized xD im a VERY mentally fucked up person
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l1issaa

@Ardef38 good luck with that!! (I got traumatized )
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Ardef38

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So like... theoretically... hypothetically.... would anyone be mad if I indulged my sick thoughts and made a skz member (probably chan) x Y/N fic that MAY or may not be what I CONSTANTLY think about a coworker and I playing out like 24/7 now??  It's gonna be some dark ass shit. We both got the same fucked up kinks..
          
          Lord knows that won't actually happen bc I have zero urge to write after my last book was deleted..but the desire to just fucking write the damn fic just to get it out of my head and make him read it bc he also writes smut UGHHHH  
          
          im so fucked up. This is so fucked up. I wish I could stop thinking about this man. I wish being poly was easier ;^; like I actually need to stop talking to this man before I get him in trouble with his gf. *i* may have permission from my bf to fuck him, but he doesn't have permission from his gf and I wanna scream. I just need to fuck this man once SO I CAN STOP THINKING ABOUT IT THE SECOND MY ADHD ASS HEAD GOES QUIET 
          
          Anyways thanks for letting me rant. Lmk if yall want that fic.(absolutely zero promises on actually writing it tho)
          For those that knew Deception and You're Gonna Pay, it 100% would be darker than that. Like. So much darker. Like I need to go to the mental hospital darker. 

rudbduzh

@Ardef38 Yes, I would like to read this because it sounds interesting, and I also have a lot of sick and dark thoughts too.
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Ardef38

Hi guys, I'm here with a random life update out of nowhere because it's a CRISIS. an identity one to be specific. I'm almost positive I'm demisexual?! and I think ive known it for a while but it took a couple of my coworkers lately for me to actually process it. anyways. bye XD

Ardef38

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@Milkyfrizz i just now seen this, im so sorry. Ilysm ❤️❤️ thank you for saying that honestly. It's really only hard to work through bc in my head I'm supposed to love aand only think about my bf who I've been dating for 6.5 years but like I literally can't get this guy and another coworker out of my head. My bf said I can fuck anyone as long as ifs not in our shared bed which is absolutely valid as fuck but pfc the 2 people I can't stop thinking about are both taken and I'll never have the chance. 
            
            After literally only a week, I've realized it's definitely not trauma bonding. We're just significantly too sexually compatible and I've never had that before bc I got some severely fucked up kinks. Like sl*t my throat type shit and no one has ever matched that in the 25 years I've been alive. Yet here this guy is. Literally perfect for me sexually in every single way I could ever possibly imagine.. And he isn't available. I'm just really fucking bummed I guess. I JUST NEED TO FUCK THIS GUY GODDAMNIT. 
            
            It also really doesn't help that we have pretty identical political views too. Like no joke we're fucking twins. AND HES MY TYPE THAT IVE HAD THE LONGEST?! like my type in men has really changed over the years and has become really lenient. But... hot goth guy with a beard, tattoos, long hair, and rings on damn near every finger?! Fucking RAW, next question. 
            
            im addicted to his attention. He plays the same fucking game i do when I want attention. I actually like I don't want attention so the other gives it first. AND HE DOES IT TOO but he gives in first bc he knows I won't. 
            
            God wait a minute.. when did this turn into a rant about him... 
            
            God im so lost in thought now..
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Milkyfrizz

@Ardef38 I completely understand having a crisis like this! Mine was finding out if I was bi or just gay. Remember that even if you identify as something now, years later you can change! It could be trauma but work through everything piece by piece and you'll get there! No matter what, we support you! 
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Ardef38

I still don't think I'm Demi, I'm just trying to convince myself that it's just trauma bonding that makes me catch feels but like? I looked up demisexuality and it pretty much hit the nail on the head. and ofc I've known that I've been poly for a while now so idk. I'm at my quarter-life crisis currently (haha love TxT)  but imma just act like none of this is happy so my life doesn't get messed up yaknow?
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Ardef38

Merry Christmas everyone <33 and happy holidays!!

Ardef38

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@LinoWasFound HOW THE FUCK DID I NOT SEE THIS BEFORE?!?!?!??!?! I love you so so so so much pookieee. Never forget that ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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LinoWasFound

@Ardef38 merry Christmas I love youuyy
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Ardef38

Guys I'm 25 in less than 13 hours. I'm gonna vomit T^T

ChansBrokenLaptop

@Ardef38 girl i swear you just turned 24 damn
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prince_minnie

@ Ardef38  being half fifty isn't that bad :) chan lived through it too <3
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