"For gosh sake could somebody close the door before Brendon Urie has a heart attack."

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen.  We are gathered here today to celebrate the joining of these two lovely people in holy matrimony.  

If you choose to gaze to your left, you will find a lovely man dressed rather dashingly in, say, a sweater vest - curly hair, a button nose, and the thickest pair of glasses known to humankind that aren't the google type. You may notice that he hides behind his hands and looks as if he sort of wants to die. THis is my lovely friend Social Anxiety.  Maybe you should stop looking at him before he passes out - that would be rather unfortunate.

If you choose to look to your right, you will find a woman standing with her hips jutted out and to the side, wearing the shortest shorts you've ever seen and the move revealing tanktop available on the market. Her hair is gorgeous, and she hasn't a single flaw in her blue eyes.  She stares you down until you look away, and then laughs in your face. This is the maiden, Overwhelming Arrogance. 

Together, these two form a couple that could be considered many things - strange, perhaps.  Maybe even controversial. But if there is one thing that perfectly describes this couple, one word that embodies their relationship to an absolute T, it is this:

Incredibly, painstakingly unfortunate.