AvianMyria

My country is a mess, my room is a mess,my feelings are a mess, and my priorities are all over the place. Why are people surprised when I bury my problems in junk food???

UndrendeWyvern

@AvianMyria Same
• Reply

fabiender

Hey there and thanks for your feedback for the beginning of my chapter. I would of course love such excellent feedback for the other two chapters where the situation intensifies. I think I can very likely apply your dialogue suggestion to the other chapters as well. Do you have book recommendation for these rules of thumb? I only publish non-fiction (research), so what you wrote was really new to me - but it makes so much sense haha:)

AvianMyria

Thank you :)
• Reply

fabiender

Cool, I actually restructured chapter 1 based on your comment about dialogues. ;-)
            
            I would be interested if it's flowing better now,  you think? I think it was very useful. 
            
            If you have more comments or ideas, I will likely appreciate them a lot, like this last time:) 
            
            and your writing is so good:) I was smiling a lot while reading it
• Reply

AvianMyria

Sure, I’ll try to give you feedback when I can on the other chapters of your story. I don’t have a book recommendation, sadly. I have a passion for storytelling and have been trying to polish my skills so that I can write a fiction novel on an idea that interests me. I hope that all I’ve learned can help you out in the long run! I’d love to see what you can write in the future!
• Reply