Becks_wh0re69

Well it won’t need let me delete this account so will be leaving it to rot

Becks_wh0re69

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I hate u, I love u - Gnash 
          
          Feeling used, but I'm Still missing you and I can't See the end of this Just wanna feel your kiss against my lips And now all this time is passing by But I still can't seem to tell you why It hurts me every time I see you Realize how much I need you I hate you, I love you I hate that I love you Don't want to, but I can't put Nobody else above you I hate you, I love you I hate that I want you You want her, you need her
          And I'll never be her I miss you when I can't sleep Or right after coffee or right when I can't eat I miss you in my front seat Still got sand in my sweaters From nights we don't remember Do you miss me like I miss you? Fucked around and got attached to you Friends can break your heart, too
          And I'm always tired, but never of you If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn't like that shit I put this reel out, but you wouldn't bite that shit I type a text, but then I never mind that shit I got these feelings, but you never mind that shit
          Oh oh, keep it on the low You're still in love with me, but your friends don't know If you wanted me, you would just say so And if I were you, I would never let me go I hate you, I love you I hate that I love you Don't want to, but I can't put
          Nobody else above you I hate you, I love you I hate that I want you You want her, you need her
          And I'll never be her I don't mean no harm, I just miss you on my arm Wedding bells were just alarms Caution tape around my heart You ever wonder what we could have been? You said you wouldn't and you fucking did Lie to me, lie with me, get your fucking fix Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fucking mixed Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance I know that I control my thoughts and I should stop reminiscing But I learned from my dad that it's good to have feelings When love and trust are gone I guess this is moving on Everyone I do right does me wrong

Becks_wh0re69

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I want to cry but I can’t I’m numb, parents found about about the weed, threats to be thrown out of the house if I do it again, being drug tested, boyfriend turned out to be a fuck fest, the anxiety and fear of waking up t9 another friend dead, one dying, one gone, others fighting, room getting searched like a military base, the anxiety and depression in general, the way 8ncant use the one outlit that made it all a lil bit better. Questioning what’s real and reality and what’s not, I’ve just stopped caring, 8 give up man, I’m done, I’m tired I’m over it. It is what it is, whatever man.

-Enzo_JayVwV-

@Becks_wh0re69 bun bun I'm so sorry you don't deserve any of this, do you wanna talk to try and get your mind off things I'm always open you know that I won't just leave you hanging please talk to me let's talk about something nice stuff you like, I can even send you some videos of the bananas or just something send funny videos to you from Pinterest I'm right here El I ain't leaving you I swear by that and you aren't either you hear me I know life is shitty right now but I got your back I always will I always have I love you Eli ❤
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spreadingforstanley

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@Becks_wh0re69 love. Please don't give up. You are strong. I understand your feelings, trust me I do. Your parents are freaking out and they react badly, like most parents do. I know that right now you just feel like they don't get you and you just want to take drugs again. But please try to maybe fill the void w smth else with juice w lollipop with anything you find. You can do it without drugs, Eli. They seem to make everything easier but they don't. And you want to use them to escape this fucked up reality but they're just dragging you even more down. I believe in you. I'm here for you.
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jonna_jojo

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@Becks_wh0re69 Eli it’s Not whatever it’s Shit and it’s Hard and what you‘re describibg sounds terrible and none of us should have to deal with any of this, especially not you with all of that. I wish I could hug you love make it all a little better but I love you and I’m staying I promise
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Becks_wh0re69

I’ll be fine guys, it’s whatever, is what is can’t d9 nothing about it, my fault for getting my hopes up about him. Whatever

-Enzo_JayVwV-

@Becks_wh0re69 I know and I get it, of course sweets you know I have your back. Your just scaring me a bit but I'm glad your talking a little bit more I couldn't stand the silence I was worried you were gone or something I cant lose you Eli your one of the most top most important people to me and I truly mean that
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Becks_wh0re69

@jonna_jojo yeahhhh
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Becks_wh0re69

@fromlulusbasement yeahhhh ig idk just numb to it
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