I'm a gentle listener, and an even gentler talker. I stand on the edge of cliffs and let my imagination carry me to far-off lands where I am dead. I have danced with the stubbed-toe tribe of Ho-Sheek-Mah-Foot and sailed the seas with the Brown-Eyed Bandit crew from the Isle of Tea-p. I humbly chose this path of elite authorship, and I bear this mantle knowing that no one came before me-because I am better than all others.

I have Eskimo-kissed the face of God and shaken hands with the demons that live inside my head (great tenants!). I see all, I know all; I was the first 'They' before 'They' was even 'They.' Bow before your God of Literature! Bow before your Author King!

It might not matter to you, but it matters to me.