when your mom can't understand what you're going through and labels it as 'becoming unruly and lazy' and says you're behaving like your father. Which is the last thing you'd want to hear when you actually hate your father to the core. You and her start arguing frequently and scolds you and tells that it'd be nice if she had died, so she won't be able to live with me or father. And then your brother comes in support for her and scolds you too. When in reality, it's you who wishes so desperately that you want to die, so that you won't burden anyone. But you can't do that because mom is not well and no one else is there with her to take care of her. You were so gifted back then in childhood, and now you're growing worse... you don't study, doesn't take care of your health, you are becoming more obese and your room is unorganized, your clothes are scattered in the cupboard. You don't feel like to eat nor take a shower. You're even tired to think clearly. You lost that spark somewhere in your life...
I just can't.... I really want to end it.
