If you’re a secret it can mean a number of things. 1.) Maybe he’s not ready to put your relationship out there. 2.) He’s dating someone else. 3.) He’s ashamed of you, which would be silly cause he’s dating you. Either way, you shouldn’t have to be a secret. You need to tell him how you feel and you need to tell him what you want before this relationship gets to serious. If he can’t meet your needs then you need to tell him bye. As for the other dude I recommend getting him out of you’re life, because I had a guy like that and he was toxic. You have years to date and have fun, don’t waste a single moment on any man who treats you less than you’re worth.