Hi @GiftKalu5
I like the premise of your story. Vampires are always good supernatural beings to write about :)
First I would like to give the tip of staying on 1 single point of view for every scene. It tends to be confusing for the reader if you switch POV (point of view) too fast and too often. Try to limit it to 1 character per scene (not chapters, you certainly can have multiple POV’s in 1 single chapter, just not in 1 scene).
What is your exact genre? Is it romance? Mystery? Thriller? Action? Once you know this, you should look up the scenes required for this particular genre. Readers of this genre will want to see these scenes. For example, a romance genre book would have a ‘the lovers meet for the first time’ scene. An action genre book would have a ‘call to action’ scene.
Have you figured out who your characters are? Not just name and age and hair color, but their motivations, goals, fears, and secrets. It’s very important to know their motivations. What do they want? Why do they want it? What do they already know and what can they already do? The same goes for your antagonists (the villain). Most antagonists want something (or want to do) something before the protagonist (your main character) even comes into the picture. What does your antagonist want? What is their plan and motivation for their goal?
That would be my first feedback. Let me know if it was helpful and if you want more
