As a dear friend of mine once aptly said "I'm almost as cool as the female reproductive system."
I honestly cannot claim to write anything better than ironic fan fiction and crappy original fiction. 
I also cannot claim to write very much at all.
The only thing I write well is essays, and I don't think anyone wants to read those.
But hey, if E.L. James can be a widely read author so can I. Follow your dreams, kid.