Jenny Howitz

Y'know, anything is impractical if you don't know how to use it.

Uh, crap.
          
          So apparently, if you almost topple down some bleachers, you shouldn't yell back at the guy who pushed you "HEY!" and shove him in the back. 
          
          If you shout, "HEY!" at him, and he apologizes, and you don't shove him, then it's okay. But apparently, if you don't wait and you shove him, then he will yell back, "Watch where you're going!" 
          
          You should then not say anything and ignore it. 
          
          Apparently, if instead you then mutter, "I was watching, asshat." then he might hear you. And apparently, if he does, he will shove you in the back when you're both on the ground. Apparently, if you glare at him, he will put his hands up in the classic 'fight me' pose. 
          
          Apparently, you should not make this move back. 
          
          If you do, then his friends will go 'ooohh!' Apparently, if he then taps his cheek and says, "Go on. Right here." you should not punch him in the cheek. Apparently, that's generally when the vice principal shows up and separates you before you can fix the punch. But apparently, punching some boy in the face with only half of your ring finger and your pinkie, can exhibit 'good form'.
          
          Even if it probably didn't hurt much.
          
          I mean, I can't even hit that hard.
          
          Couldn't have hurt.
          
          But still.
          
          I hope it did.
          
          Unless he's telling the truth and it was my fault. In which case, I apologize full heartedly. No, that isn't sarcasm. If it was my fault, then I'm sorry.
          
          If it was yours, then fuck you.
          
          ...
          
          Oh! Also, I'm probably going on a longer hiatus than usual because mum's probably going to confiscate my electronics. And my wifi. Thank god for phones and extra time on the bus, right?
          
          Anyways, it was probably my fault anyways.
          
          Unless it wasn't. In which case:
          
          Dear Boywhoalmostsentmetumblingdownthebleachers,
          
          Fuck you very much.
          
          Sincerely,
          
          Jennifer Gabrielle Howitz