Please give me feedback and comments on my stories so I become a better writer.

I am 44yrs old male.  Autistic and have cerebral palsy (But only the learning and speech parts of it).  I am self taught photographer and I also love to work on my hellish book (Dream Life of Wealth, Power, and Love) that I been writing since high school and always looking to improve on the storyline and on my photographs as well.  

Writing is my way of escaping.  To me the world of dominance is a unique world.  Yeah, I know that I am twisted in the head but who isn't?  Seriously, think about it.  Well hope you are enjoying my first story.