I went to a bug exibit a few months back. I get your fear of spiders, but I learned something there you probably don't know:
Poisonous spiders hate to bite. The poison is energy intensive to make, and only used in a real emergency. A group of scientists used an artificial hand to provoke a bite, and had trouble getting the spider to use its venom.
It really didn't want to bite, and would use various means to scare someone off (like aggressive posturing) 'dry' bite (without venom) etc. The only way they got the spider to bite was by pinching and squeezing it. I think it was a black widdow they were using in the test.
Brown recluse spiders are called reclusive for a reason. They would far rather run away than attack.
I know that you will not get warm fuzzies the next time you see a spider, but I hope you might be less afraid.