Bodhi

I'm still so torn over you.

I wish I would stop coming here.. I just cry every single time and god.. i miss you so much..

I can't even believe this.
          Sometimes I just have to come back and write to you, knowing you'll never read it. 
          It's hard, every time I come back. I force myself to. And then it's not so hard, because it helps to be able to write to you, even though I'm not really writing to you.
          I meant to do this on like May 31. I think that's the day we met. It could've been the 28, the day I created my Wattpad account. 
          I just miss you a lot. It's crazy to think that even though we never physically met, you had such a freaking huge impact on me and on my life. Like I still will talk about you and Sean and our friendship. It's not something you just forget. 
          I remember how only two weeks and one day less than two years ago I was sitting at my grandmother's house and you were convincing me to ask out the guy I liked. We broke up, back in like February. The 18th, I think. It just wasn't working out. I thought of you and knew I could do it. And I did.
          Sometimes I like to go back and read through our old conversations. Is that weird? I don't really care if it is. It helps. A lot. 
          I think if you knew me now, you'd be proud of me. I hope you would be. I always talked like I would do it, too, whenever you did, but guess what? I'm still happy, and alive, and breathing. And right now? I'm living. 
          I have a few friends, one who I am incredibly close with. I never got to tell you about her, but she knows about you. I wish you could have met Aubrey. You would've disagreed on so many things, but you were both my best friends. And good gosh, just if you knew Brandon! He's my guy best friend, and I may or may not have a huge crush on him that he totally knows about. It's not gonna go anywhere, though, and I'm totally cool with that.
          I just wish you were still around. I wish you could know all of my friends.
          I just want you to know that I'm okay. I'm happy. I'm loved, and I love other people. I've never been as happy as I am now. I feel complete. 
          I love you. Always. 
          -Linsy

I miss you so much..

Wow. It's been over a year now without you...
          There are so many things I want to be able to talk to you about right now, like how all of my friends abandoned me at the worst time possible and how I'm not even living anymore. 
          I've grown up a lot since we first met and began to talk. I've grown up even more since you've been gone. I miss you so much. I have, and I always will. I'm so thankful to have gotten to know you. 
          I'm never going to forget you. Ever. I'm going to name my first son Bodhi Sean in tribute to you and Sean, the two best friends I've ever had. 
          Thank you for being amazing and helping me through seventh grade. I'm glad I had you then.
          Love,
          Linsy

I never got to meet you but from what i hear from Linsy you were pretty great. Im sad i never got a chance to talk to you but i know you are in a better place. One day when i die i hope i get ti meet you in heaven.

Hi, Bodhi. 
          I'm talking to DeeJae right now. It's her birthday. We started talking about you, and we both started crying. I hadn't talked to her in a long time because honestly, it's been easier to not talk to people who knew you. But yeah. I've been talking about you to my friends at school a lot recently. Just telling them about you and telling stories about our conversations. 
          You know, I turned thirteen a few weeks ago. If you were still alive, I would have told you how I'm not a little kid anymore, and you would have argued that I am. I really miss those arguments we used to have. We were both so stubborn. I wish I had let you win them. I do.
          Ethan and I haven't seen each other in a couple of months, even though we're still dating. Right about now, you're probably saying "I'm gonna haunt his little punk ass!" or something along those lines. And I would tell you not to, and we would argue about that. 
          If someone had told me when I created my account that I would build so many friendships and experience so much pain because of them, I would have laughed in their face. It was never my plan to be such good friends with all of these people. And look what I got from ours. Even though it hurts now, I don't regret becoming friends with you. It's actually one of the best things that happened to me, ever. I can't imagine a life where I never knew you and Sean.
          
          I miss you so much Bodhi. You actually have no idea. I still cry a little bit, sometimes, when I think about you. It still hurts, but it is getting better. I know I'm going to see you again when I die, so that eases the pain. I love you Bodhi. 
          -Linsy

Bodhi, I seriously miss you so much. Dx
          Nurrrrr. I wish you could come back v.v
          I have so much to say to you. Like, I told those rude guys off that kept scaring my in the hallway at school. I told them to fuck off omg,you should of seen their faces.. XD I know, badass over here.
          I have a boyfriend. I don't think it'll last long though.. :p 
          Garry has been a great son:3 he misses you though. 
          Oh, and the duckies have been amazing. Their currently learning to fly. Bodhi Jr. spends all his time swimming ..he's so silly:')
          
          Wow. This is so heartbreaking. I really wish I got the chance to say a proper goodbye:/ Blah I'm getting so emotional it's not even cool. 
          Anyways I guess I should go now.
          I miss you and love you forever and always.
          <33

Hey. I don't even know why I'm writing this right now. I mean, I know you're dead and that I'll never get a response, but I guess I just needed to. I just miss you a lot right now. Idk. I think it's because we met around this time last year. I remember telling you about how I was 11 but almost 12, so it wasn't that weird. That seems like so long ago now. So now I'm almost 13. Just 2 more months! And Ethan and I have been dating for almost a year. Remember how the night I asked him out I was freaking out and you convinced me to? Thank you for that. Thank you for everything, Bodhi. I love you

</3 I tlkd to u twice, but it still hurts to kno ur gone... R.I.P. bodhi