𝜗𝜚

it still hasn’t settled in my heart, and sometimes i don’t think it ever fully will. 
          to heeseung, whom has taken a part of my heart i can never get back. 
          to heeseung, who everyone who knows me knows. 
          to heeseung, who was the sole reason i waited one more day everyday;
          “let’s listen to one song, i’ll do it after” was the delay that allowed me to be here and write this.
          
          i love you. live a healthy life. good job.

everything fucking sucks oh my god

phone broke im broke maybe seeinf enha?

living isn’t really as enticing as death 

im 22!! 

anxiety isn't always right with its warnings. depression isn't easy, nor quirky. burn out cannot fade on its own. people will dislike you, they're allowed to.
          but most importantly, you deserve to be alive.
          it's not your responsibility to mourn who lost their battles.
          
          survivor's guilt is a pain in the ass, constant, subtle, and somehow the reason behind all those other diagnosis. 
          but, to have it means you're alive. 
          that's a privilege.
          
          day 1 living. not because i exist, but because i won.

i really spent all my teenage years thinking i was a passionate ally… sure jen 

reflecting a lot, moving through adulthood at an impossible speed. i keep writing, in waves because that's all my mind allows me to, and i dream of hitting the "publish" button. who knows.

Thanks for adding Mad World to your reading list. Hope you enjoy it ^^

i think i’m officially at my lowest point