♡☆Ali☆♡

I smile alot and joke alot at school but nobody there except like one other person notices the pain behind the smile. 

Im moving. 
          
          Because I can't do this at my school anymore. 
          
          Ive been bullied to the point where im questioning my reason for living. 
          
          And I can't do it anymore 
          
          Im leaving about 2 states away from the place I was born in. 
          
          Its going to be hard. 
          
          But I just hope the shit that goes on on this school I can leave behind forever. 
          
          I will miss some. 
          
          Another reason im moving is because the one girl I can trust with my life is also leaving. 
          
          In the short amount of time I've known her we've gotten so close 
          
          She's been my anchor. 
          
          But yeah update.. 

Hiii im back, I took a small break to try and help my mental help a little bit. But today I just found out my best friend is moving to another state in june. This girl i trusted her with my life. She's someone I could talk to. Someone I can be myself around. But she's leaving.
          
          Just my luck.
          
          Everytime I get close to someone and I can trust them they always ALWAYS have to move away.
          
          And I just humiliated myself in front of all of my 5th period because when I walked in I was still crying so the teacher had told me to like go to the bathroom and one of my other friends came with me. And I had a panic attack inside the school bathroom. With like 6 girls watching me. So me and my friend went to the guidance counselor and talked for a bit then roamed around the school for like 10 minutes. 
          
          And my friend who's moving is a huge WWE fan and my S.S teacher said that her sister (who's in my grade cause my friend is a year older) told him that he needs to start making WWE references at me and I almost started crying again. 
          
          God I just humiliated myself and got made fun of too after class. 
          
          
          (Sorry for typos I typed this fast)

I feel like i physically can't breathe

Im tired of this shit 
          
          Im absolutely fucking tired 
          
          Im tired of being body shamed
          
          Im tired of getting blamed 
          
          Im just absolutely fucking tired 
          
          I wanna leave
          
          I feel like nobody is listening 

I know only one person here knows me personally on here but if I dont show up to school on Monday spam the fuck out of my phone and if I dont make an announcement tomorrow than spam the fuck put of my wattpad 

Bruh

The hell is this?!?! Istg if the Seahawks win..

The voices are starting to win again..

I cried so hard I ended up throwing up. 
          
          Over a month being clean... 
          
          Gone...