This is me.An accurate description would be chaos.But how do u describe chaos?Its not beautiful,its not ugly..no simple way to describe it,but it fits so perfectly.My mind,my life,me.All chaotic.Simply chaotic..that may be an oxymoron,but it doesnt mean its not an accurate description.It being an oxymoron is just more evidence of my craziness.Ive come to peace with being crazy,but that knowledge doesnt make living this way easier.Does knowing something unpleasant ever make it any better or easier?Im not sure.It may makes things even worse,if thats possible.Im off topic,but not sure what the topic is.Me,I guess.Well as for me,Im sure I didnt ned to clarify that Im crazy,my ramblings attest to that.Me:I think I was born to live in water.The ocean is the most peaceful thing in the world.I must have salt water in my veins bc for as long as I can remember,Im happiest when in/near the ocean.I miss Hawaii so much it physically hurts.The ocean is my passion.How do u live without ur passion?That alone ought to be enough to drive any normal person out of their mind.Considering that Ive never been particularly"sane"my mental state is no surprise.I believe its unhealthy to deny urself things u love.As long as ur not harming others,follow ur passion,do as much of what you lve as possible bc u never know when u wont be able to do it anymore.I never thought that one day Id be thousands of miles away from the paradise I called home,unable to enjoy little things took for granted,like falling asleep to the sound of the ocean.I dont remember giving it any thought,Im sure I expected Id always live there.So was ignorance bliss?In some ways I think it was.Im not sure knowing that Id be in the rainiest,dreariest state there is wouldve done anything positive for me.Most likely it wouldve just clouded my sunnydays.(both literally&metaphorically)I suppose living where I do is fitting.It rains more often then not,its cloudy,dreary,fits my feelings perfectly.