FaeSparks

Grasp Heart chapter 9 of re-writes has been updated.

A_girl_With-a-Pen

Hey there! I came across your comments in The Matriarchs Daughter....currently, I'm having jpsucheki go over my work doing a R4R....I'm still new to writing but whatever you have, I would love to read and just provide general comments, and if there is anything I could point out I would! I see you write paranormal romance, and I'm currently working on my own paranormal romance....so not sure if you're up for a R4R, if you aren't, I'd totally understand but if you, just let me know!

FaeSparks

@A_girl_With-a-Pen Prologue definitely needs to be chopped down; many folks are rightfully apprehensive about a lengthy prologue - some even apprehensive about a prologue at all. Whenever you've got time (I'll read another chapter of yours in exchange for this), if you could revisit and take note of parts that either felt boring, too much, confusing, or nonessential from your point of view, please leave comments on those. Thank you very much for your input so far!
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A_girl_With-a-Pen

@A_girl_With-a-Pen Hey! So so far, I've been really enjoying what you have, though I've only gotten through the prologue. 
            
            The prologue is quite an action-packed entrance and immediately hooks the reader! A lot is going however and you use quite a few military terms, maybe consider putting at the end or beginning of the prologue a dictionary? That is solely a recommendation though.
            
             One thing, the prologue is over 26 minutes long! While this isn't the end of the world, most prologues on wattpad are only a few paragraphs long, (max 10 minutes). Most prologues on average are around 1,500-2,500. Maybe consider putting that as maybe a chapter 1? Again it's not the end of the world and the beautifully described sentences and action-packed paragraphs make up for the long duration of the prologue. Anyways, I loved what you had so far and I'm super excited to get back into the chapters.
            
            On a different note though, there probably won't be a schedule for how many chapters I can read and when I can get them done, since Christmas is coming up. So a week might go back when I don't get to the next chapter in your book.
            
            Have a wonderful weekend!
            
            ~Aly
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A_girl_With-a-Pen

@FaeSparks It's rather late here so I'll get into yours tomorrow!!
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