DorfTrottel

Istg, I'm gonna f-ing kill you

Fucking mosquito thought it would be funny to drink blood from my fucking eye lid and now I can't open it. 
          I feel like an Animal Crossing character after they got stung by the god damn wasps. 
          And I can't feel my fucking pinkie because of that god forsaken stupid ass mosquito, this bitch. Fuck you mosquito. I wanted to help my dad with grocery shopping, now it's my little sister doing it instead. 
          
          Yes, I'm forcing y'all to read whatever the fuck this is. 
          
          Sorry my italian friend for not responding. I'm socially awkward and don't know how to hold conversations. 

Everywhere I go, I see him. 
          *buff latino spider-man*

Y'all don't know how fucking dissappointed and disgusted I am whenever my mother starts talking about sex at the god damn dinner table. 
          Like, stop. Mom. There is literally a child present. Dad, don't support her. 

Growing up is when you realize that politicians aren't as smart as you thought they'd be. 

Bro, I just looked at a few pictures of Wally Darling from the horror project "Welcome Home" and now every time I log on Instagram I see that puppet. Send help pls

Krobus?

I searched up "landscape black beach at dusk" and most of those black beaches are just dark pictures. 
          I just wanted to see a black beach with a bright sun going down in the background, not pictures that an edgy 14 year old girl would use on her social media account to appear quirky and different. 

Oh god, why does Wattpad recommend me books like "The alpha wants me" 
          I'm not going to read an alpha male book. In fact, I'm not going to read anything that has some weird 'alpha male who is important for the story'. 

Just beat Pierre from Stardew Valley in a competition. Never felt this good for beating a random npc in a game