"PASTAAAAAAAA!"

"Ve~"

[on what to do if the enemy asks you to surrender] "That's an easy one, sir! Surrender immediately, form an alliance, kiss their butts, sing, eat and go to bed."

"I know I'm not strong, but I'm cute!"

"Why are you pointing a gun at me? I already told you I'd tell you everything I know, which is pretty much everything I know! Please don't kill me, please!"

[on Germany] "He's strong and pretty and wider than anybody, and that has got to count for something in this day and age, at least in keeping liquor stores out of your neighborhood. Also, Germans sound real funny, and laughing is good for the heart."

"Germany! Germany! There was a pretty girl so I hit on her, but it turns out the pretty girl was France in disguise!"

[Chibitalia to Austria] "By any chance, do you serve pasta?"