@Fire_Bird_Nyx
I just lost friends I’ve had for 6+years because I told them I was non-binary and couldn’t explain why the feeling of calling me she mad me feel sick to my stomach.
BRB while I cry for 30 mins
It’s so odd to think that all of the people in my life now were once complete strangers. They were no one special to me, nothing more than a face in the crowd, or a text, or a picture. It’s even stranger to think how you are people even before I know you, how you are just as strange and wonderful now as you would be if we were to meet.
There’s so many small things you can notice when you first meet someone, I found. Physical appearances are one thing, but it’s the actions that can stick with you. Blue eyes are only is beautiful as the crinkles that form around the edges as you laugh with me, Lips only as dazzling as the smile it’s paired with.
I think sometimes, stranger, what it would be like to make you smile. What it would take to make that happen. Would you laugh at my jokes? Would you smile as I stutter over words, chuckle as I show you a picture, smile sweetly as a compliment your shirt? I wonder how long it would take for you to smile in my presence, simply because I was there. I wonder how long it would be until I could do the same.
I think about that a lot, it’s one of the many things that plague my mind. Perhaps I think of it too much.
Sometimes I wonder how often I have walked by you, a stranger like no other, a not-made friend to laugh with me at 3 AM, a comforting presence as I cry in your arms, a lover to share every smile and frown.
I want to know you, I want to love you. I want to skip the awkward introduction and skip to the part we were in our PJs at 3 AM, watching sad movies and crying our eyes out in the loveseat. I want to skip to the part where I could tell you how much you mean to me, where I can show up at your door after a hard day and comfort you. I want to reread an epilogue not yet made in our story, where we loved and we lost and we found each other. I’ve seen your face in a crowd 1000 times, and I feel like it will be 1000 times more before I can muster up the courage to say hi. Because right now I’m not even on page 1 in our story, yeah I crave an end that hasn’t even begun.
So I confess my love to you, dear stranger. I confess that I can see myself getting lost in stories you adore, that I could find love in the way you have your eyes stuck to your phone, mind spent on characters you adore. I would fall into love with the way you smile and snicker at scenarios in your mind that you’ve conjured.
I confess that you are lovely, a concept on paper that intrigues me. How lovely your skin, how soft your hair. How romantic the poetry we would make.
I confess that we are different in reality, and dull skin and just as worthy of love in whatever way that manifests.
I confess to you dear stranger, that you are everything I could see you to be.
I confess that you are worthy.
should i give this to you here?