Fools_Gold_1D

this message may be offensive 
I always have the most shit going on cause why am I now rethinking my entire life while I relive my grandpas funeral (he was one of my best friends) and my best friend answered me but is now not answering me AGAIN. LIKE WHAT.

Fools_Gold_1D

this message may be offensive 
I always have the most shit going on cause why am I now rethinking my entire life while I relive my grandpas funeral (he was one of my best friends) and my best friend answered me but is now not answering me AGAIN. LIKE WHAT.

Fools_Gold_1D

told my best friend I was going through a tough time and wanted someone to talk to. he said he'll always make time for me and as soon as I actually started saying something he went offline. (we were on discord because my parents lock my phone after 10 o'clock for something that wasn't even my fault so I'm on my computer). guess I won't say anything to anyone heh...

Fools_Gold_1D

okay so I actually realized its much easier to type on my computer than I thought. so even if my wrist doesn't heal on its own its still very easy to type lol so I'll see what I can do with those notes. I'm gonna post one, but it won't be one that I've already written. it'll a blank one that fills up as I type what my mind tells me to, but the others are already written. (my fingers are cramping as I write this help)

Fools_Gold_1D

this message may be offensive 
I just posted the first note I wrote to Liam. It's fucked up, so read at your own risk. Trigger Warning is at the beginning of the post. There's an apology at the end of the post and I seriously am sorry for things I said at home that day. I've apologized countless times to him and I just want him to know I didn't mean those things and I know it was terrible and I'm so so sorry.

PHHismybbygirl

@Fools_Gold_1D ofc, i'll always always be here if you need anything, even just to listen in here ml <3
• Reply

Fools_Gold_1D

@PHHismybbygirl  thank you, this means so much to me <3
• Reply

PHHismybbygirl

@Fools_Gold_1D that was really brave if you ml, you should be proud of yourself and what you've been able to move past, i'm here if you ever need anything and remember to love yourself <3
• Reply

Fools_Gold_1D

Im thinking for content I type all the letters ive written to liam as separate "chapters" but idk how you guys would feel if I did that. Would you guys like to read those or should I just put them back in my memory box lol
          
          Also, I love you Li

Fools_Gold_1D

I just messaged you on pinterest, but I'll probably start writing them in a few hours or tomorrow <3
• Reply

Cici_Tales

@Fools_Gold_1D That would be amazing! If it'd make you feel good, free, and ofc, if you feel ok with sharing them, then you should do it! <3
• Reply

Fools_Gold_1D

this message may be offensive 
this is kind of a vent post so don't read if you don't wanna
          
          sorry I haven't been posting literally anything, I relapsed mentally and I'm trying to get better and I haven't had time to write anything, but I came up with characters for when/if i write a new book. I'm writing this while literally disintegrating into a puddle of tears but I'm trying my best. I had a good day and I just don't know what the fuck is going on but I'm trying I swear, everyones making it seem like I'm not, but they aren't making it seem like that either and Im just in my head and I don't know what the fucks going on. my best friend doesn't have time for me and doesn't make it either. all my friends are pushing me away and I just feels like an annoying bitch who doesn't leave anyone alone. I constantly feel like I'm suffocating (literally) and I can't breathe and I just don't know what to do. I need and want people to talk to me but I also want everyone to shut the fuck up and get away from me, but I panic when I'm alone. I'm sorry, but fuck I'm trying. I have constant headaches and I'm always crying and I feel like everyone hates me and I just don't know where it went wrong. I'm thinking of everyone that died in my life, Liam, grandpa Fred, grandpa Kenny, keith, terry, Lynn, my  childhood dog, moose, my favorite cat patched, prince Michael (another cat who I was attached to) like I just never get a  break and when I think I'm over I end up going back to the same headspace months later and everything's ruined. I climbed to the top but at the last step I skipped and fell back to the bottom. some of my favorite people and animals are fucking there's more coming and I know it. I don't know what's going on but I don't want to be around but I'm trying so hard to stay clean and stay sane but its barely fucking working. someone I talked to everyday is someone I talk to barely any now and she doesn't acknowledge it literally ever and I just don't know what to do cause I cant function without her,

Cici_Tales

@Fools_Gold_1D hey girl, I got u. See, you are actually doing so much! If you feel like ppl around you don't see it or even you can't realize it... well, I'll tell you that YOU ARE. I know that feeling "I want so bad to talk with someone... but what if I'm annoying them? Am I pathetic?". I know it too well. Unfortunately there will be people who don't care about us in our life as there will be people who love us until the end of their days. Don't give too weight to carry to your heart. You're so damn strong!
            
            And about the people and your fav animals who aren't here anymore: first, I'm truly sorry </3 but, hey, u might think they're in peace now, and I'm sure they all want you safe and happy. They all would definitely want you to think good and happy memories of them.
            
            I know I'm not very good with words, sorry. BUT, my final msg is: YOU'RE MUCH STRONGER THAN YOU THINK. So stay alive, if you feel like everything is wrong, do not bc it won't be forever! AND if you ever need someone to talk to, a friend (I'm serious), I'm here, fr <3 also, take all the time you need to write and stuff.
• Reply