“I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.” 
― Ellen DeGeneres
***
"When I was small I would hide in my closet, so I'm definitely sure I'll fit into his (Obama's) cabinet!"
― Ellen DeGeneres
***
“You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is. ” 
― Ellen DeGeneres
***
"How's your work going?"
"It's fine. I just got fired by the way."
"I'm sorry. How did you get fired?"
"By having sex with everyone on the office"
Long Pause and a Gulp.
"Everyone?"
― Silver Linings Playbook
***

Yup. This is me. 
Fooling around, Cracking jokes and all. 
I don't know how to start a conversation on net. You know, it is difficult to start a conversation when the person is a stranger AND you are not able to see him/her. Help me with that!
I'm the one who writes "hey Bitch' on your message board and forgets to add a smiley face or a LOL. So dont get offended if I to do that. Man up and accept the fact that I'm kidding (cuz thats what I always do)  XD XD XD

“Do you feel insecure because you keep getting the nagging feeling that you're not that smart? Well, I've got good news for you, my friend. You have no need to be insecure. That nagging feeling is absolutely right on target. You are not that smart. But I have more good news for you. You are also not alone.”