h͙e͙a͙v͙e͙n͙

Coworker 1: “damn your hands are cold”
          Me: “yeah they’re always cold”
          Coworker 1: “you know what they say right, cold hands warm heart”
          Me: “ no I’ve never heard that before”
          Coworker 2: “you know what I say? Cold hands, it’s probably a corpse” 
          LMAO

Conversation with a two year old boy about a toy spider tonight
          Boy: *shocked face* SHE POOP!
          Me: your spider pooped??
          Boy: *even more exaggerated shocked face* YEAH SHE POOP
          Me: Oh okay we should clean it
          Boy: (obviously to his mom) MOMMY GIVE ME BABYWIPE
          THIS KID CLEANED THE TOY SPIDER AND THEN CONTINUED TO POINT TO THE GROUND 
          “SHE POOP”
          And we were sitting there for ten minutes cleaning the spider, the floor and my mothers shoes because he would not stop he was freaking out over a toy spider saying it pooped. So annoyingly cute. I wish I could post a video 

Finally moved my aunt out of my house.. now my uncle is moving in. Fuck my entire existence. Get your shit together, people.

See you in another year 

Wow long time no see

Someone PM me I’m bored. Or Snapchat me @ Pikachusway1800 (;

I want a rat 

I wish more people understand privacy and my WANT to be alone most of the time. If a door is shut it’s polite to knock. Let that sink in for a second, thanks.

Teacher: “Everyone do their best to make Cady feel welcome”
          Me: “Umm.. Actually my name is Heaven”
          Teacher: “Oh I’m sorry. Everyone make *Heather feel welcome”
          ????
          ???????
          ????????????????????
          
          Bitch are you deaf or stupid 
          
          Me in a more firm voice: “Heaven.”
          Random annoying bitch in class: “I guess I could call you my own little slice of Heaven”
          
          Or you could call me HEAVEN and shut the fuck up, thanks. Nice talk, let’s never do it again.

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck