@Ghostman27 @Ghostman27 Not enough benny and jill! (Jk) in all seriousnessI honestly have trouble finding many criticisms, even when nitpicking. Your writing is pretty solid. Maybe adding more descriptors of the environment? You do a great job but little details can make environments really come alive, like when you described Helen's room, you mentioned there were art supplies, where were they? On the desk? On the bedside table? Or just on the floor? You don't necessarily have to map out the environment perfectly, just small things and points of interest that makes you really think about the environment