Greetings! My niece says I am the most wonderful, brilliant aunty in the whole wide world. I probably am. I am not only a brilliant writer and an arrogant person, but a wild hunter who doesn't hesitate to shoot a deer! She says I should maybe send my books to Bloomsbury and get them published. I would be thrilled to be an author, but also nervous.
Every time someone passes a compliment I unleash a big fat tear.
Don't ask me why, but I do. I am an extremely talented cook whom makes this really nice frog stew, using a bowl of water, grass and dead frogs.
I was home-schooled when I was younger by a mother whom I share this cave with. Whenever she has gone away to hunt food for our family, I attempt to socialize with the bats. I am very good at speaking fish, but I still struggle with horse language.
I have a beautiful mind filled with maths and imagination. I entertain my niece with gothic stories about were wolves and vampires. She loves them.
I have been forced to hunt for a living although I have only my family to share my anxieties with. All I want is a calculator and a chance. I often refer to Wattpad as a 'semi publishing'. I have grown up with sixteen brothers and twenty one sisters whose language is limited to the one cats use.
My mother knows every language and she pronounces the words perfectly. I wish I could be her. I am approximately 92 years old and it drives me crazy when someone gets the age wrong. My favourite board game is Snakes and Ladders. I play it with my little brother Mouthy. I can never seem to understand him. I have always dreamed of one day becoming famous for my choice of poetry. I even attached a poem to this description:
My name is Gobby,
I like the name Dobby.
I love grapes.
I like tapes.
Isn't that a beautiful poem? I've even decided to be a singer. My favourite singer is my mother. I had a pet tadpole but one day I came to visit it and it wasn't there. I could only see a ugly monster. It must have got eaten by the frog. My heart broke.