I never know when did I start losing all the confidence I had when I was a little bit younger. During those times I could still introduce and be a social butterfly whenever I want to, but after the pandemic I really change as a whole. I feel like I rebranded somehow, or I really change so much. I couldn't speak with people, nor I could not even have the confidence to stand straight or speak straight whenever I talk to someone I usually don't know.
Sobrang natatakot ako, Hindi ko alam na sobrang laki ng epekto sakin nung mga pang bbody shame at pang mamaliit sa akin na dati ay wala akong pakealam. Hindi ko alam na dadating ako sa point na, okay nalang ako na maging ganito kaysa harapin ko yung mga bagay na maaring mag grow ako.
I may look fine outside but definitely inside it's really killing me. Not in a way na gusto ko mamatay, but in a way na ayoko nang ipusta yung mga bagay na lumalabas sa safe zone ko.
But I also realize kung bakit ako ganito. Kung bakit nawala yung motivation ko to strive harder, at dahil hindi ki nakuha yung talagang pinangarap ko. Gusto kong enjoyin ang college life, pero pera at kulang sa lakas ng loob ang mag papabagsak sa akin I want to surpassed all of this situation, sana wala mga estudyante ang makaranas ng nararanasan ko.
