this message may be offensive
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE LEGEND, THE CHAOS KING, THE ONE AND ONLY YOU!
Okay first of all—how dare you grow older and still be this cool? Not fair. Second of all, do you realize the world decided to bless itself the day you were born? Like literally, the universe was like, “You know what this planet needs? Him.”
On this sacred day, I just want to say thank you…
For existing.
For being a hilarious weirdo.
For tolerating me (which is truly Nobel Prize-worthy).
And for being the human version of my comfort snack: slightly chaotic, strangely addictive, and always cheering me up.
May your day be filled with:
Cake (that you don’t have to share).
Zero notifications from boring people.
An embarrassing number of “Happy Birthdays” from people who lowkey forgot your name.
And maybe a gift that doesn’t suck (but let’s be honest, I’m your best gift anyway—you’re welcome).
Now for your birthday wish:
I hope your year ahead is full of spontaneous dance battles, laughing fits over dumb things, perfect meme timing, and moments so good you want to screenshot them with your brain. And if not, I’ll be here—ready to roast you back to happiness, one dumb joke at a time.
Also, I hope you never lose the weird, hilarious, unexpectedly sweet energy that makes you you. Even though I joke 99% of the time, I kinda adore the way you make life feel lighter just by being in it. You’re genuinely one of my favorite humans, and I’m so glad you exist.
Now go out there, wear that birthday crown, demand unreasonable attention, and eat like calories don’t count today. Because you?
You’re absolutely iconic.
