Because I'm so damaged that i push everyone away. But being alone is my problem. I need someone there to keep me afloat. To keep me alive. Because this hole in my heart is going to be the cause of my death. This hole in my heart is going to keep me alone forever, feeling empty and unloved. Because this hole in my heart cant be filled. I cant be changed as much as i want to . I want to love like no one has ever loved before. I want to see myself being happy in the future, but how can i be happy in the future if I'm not happy now? How can I be happy after the hole he left in my heart that will stay a reminder of how alone I am and how alone I will always be? How can I live without him to fill the hole in my heart that he left the day he told me he never loved me?