Ambrose Sinclair

The cheek, the nerve, the gall, the audacity and the gumption! 
          How dare you Wattpad? How dare you limit the number of announcements I can make a day, how dare you postpone my announcement to an hour after?
          I am absolutely livid; the absolute nerve of this platform to limit my benevolant and long-awaited speech. How could my dear followers cope with my lack of best wishes? Too long they have waited for my announcement already, how dare you deprive them of this?
          To all my dear followers, this is not my working, this is not my design. I am a mere pawn in the grand scheme of things and even I must bend to the rules governing this land. A foreign and strange land indeed...
          
          Your very upset monarch
          
          PS: only bedsheets woven with the finest Egyptian cotton could alleviate my sorrow, please direct them my way (400 to 700 thread count sheets only)

Happy new Year my lovelies and especially to the new follower whom I don't know the name of (please forgive me, I was busy thinking about boys :)
          Now, I know this could not have been a good start for the year considering my lack of best wishes but I am here now and all your worries shall be gone! You will be pleased to know that for my part, this start of the year has been truly wonderful (it was not and I was stuck moping in my silk bedsheets, once again thinking about boys).
          
          Now I shall announce this wonderful and long-awaited post to my loyal followers because I am not a tyrant and I could not deprive them of my writing which they have been thirsting for. Drink away my lovelies! Drink all that I give you for I do not know when I shall be back in the foreign and strange land Wattpad has become!
          
          Your gracious monarch

EXCUSE ME??? DID YOU JUST SAY I CANNOT SPAM MY DEAR FOLLOWERS WITH IMPORTANT CONTENT MORE THAN 3 TIMES A DAY???
          I AM AGHAST AND TRULY DISCOMFITED UPON READING THIS NEW RULE.
          
          Kisses even if you're underage,
          
          Your agitated neighbour

Hahahhaahhaa Jesus how did this following happen (granted it's 60 followers) but you can't be following me for my unending ranting and frankly mundane conversations?
          Kidding, thanks for the attention luv ;) 
          Now since I have been granted the title of influencer by yours truly, I feel the need to interact with you my lovelies so shall I do just that?
          
          Easy question to start, after all, it's too soon for me to share my deepest, darkest secrets to you. It's not like you could handle it ;)
          
          Kisses unless you're underage, 
          
          Your paranoid neighbour

Wow came back to the wattpadian land and how have things changed :o
          Gone are the times where you could scroll through content without being harassed by ads;  gone are the times where you could access stories without paying coins...
          How am I supposed to comment on good content when it is out of reach??? 
          Oh Lord such is the despair
          How things have changed indeed :(((
          
          Yes your hoe has come back from a year abroad and she has come back enlightened and wiser. 
          Wattpad, you shall announce once and for all my return !
          
          Yours truly,
          
          The hoe next door

Yo, so I think I'm going to become one of those heartless corporate people and idk how to feel bout it, bc money is my lifegoal since i'm a hoe but I don't want to ruin everything to get to that point :/ I still want to care abt things that matter like the environment and things like that but I feel like you can't care abt things like that if you want to be rich :( 

Boom bitch ya boi's going to UCL and he's going to liiiike it~

Alright tho, how do I destroy the wattpad memeing game without ruining my aesthetic #askingforahoe 

Hello it's been a while my lovelies but I hope everyone's having a great day :)
          As for me the weather sucks in Paris and I'm wayyy behind my schedule. Doesn't matter, I'm eating brunch and having the best (ok maybe not the best :/) time of my life. 
          
          Just letting you know bc I know how y'all are invested in my daily life :)))

New resolution my friends, I WILL be more active on this account. I will not disappoint you you can count on me!!! 
          
          ps: all of you who don't believe me when I say this... hahahahaha how can I even BLAME you. Although, please have faith in me, I will go back to the way I used to be, that is to say criticize stories of insanely talented writers, confident enough to put their work out there.
          
          ps: HOW IS THE FIRST PS EVEN LONGER THAN THE ACTUAL MESSAGE?