I'm not writing this to anyone particular. I'm just writing this to get it off my chest. It's 1:29 AM and I feel so scared and so bad, about myself, my future, my life and this world.
Nothing in this world is worth the pain we go through.
I'm screwed, why was I so careless, so idiot, I didn't listen, I ruined my future. Is there still a hope for me? Can I still be saved? Can I get myself out of this situation? Can I be in a better situation? Can I hope? Can I dare to dream?
I feel so alone. There is no one I can talk right now.
I was feeling kind of good in the last few days, but now, not anymore. So many things came crashing down on me tonight.
I can't cry , I try so hard to cry, to pour my heart out, to be relieved, but I can't. It's like I'm dry inside and I don't have any tears in me.
I want to cry, I want to get the light and calm feeling one usually gets after crying.
Who can I hold close and tell all my fears to?
My nights are restless lately. I hate myself. I don't deserve to live but I don't wanna die either.
I'm so useless, a loser.
I want someone to help me and guide me, but I'm scared of opening up.
I want to be happy.
I know there is always tomorrow and I might feel normal again, but I wanna have this feeling in the middle of the night again.
