I'm simpler than you think.I figured out one thing about this world-just one pretty much. You find a cause and you serve it. Give yourself over and it orders your life. Lucifier and Yellow eyes...their mission was it for me.
Obviously these things switch over time. We learn, We grow. Now for me currently, the cause is bringing down the king. I know what I'm supposed to do. And it isn't screw with Sam and Dean or lose the only angel who'd go to bat for me 

-Meg