Iwantmylimbsback

So I guess what I’m saying is I’m sorry I can’t do better. I want to try but I feel so tired.

Iwantmylimbsback

I’m sorry for the inactivity
          
          I wish I had the motivation to write more. But everything is slowly starting to not make me feel happy. In fact I’m starting to slowly not care for things including myself. It’s getting harder and harder to take care of myself and I can barely take care of other people. This past week has been horrible for me and I’m in such a horrible place right now. I feel so sick. I feel like I’m bothering everyone around me and that I’m a waste of space. I feel like I annoy them because I try to fit in places where I don’t belong. I don’t know what to do. I’ve closed myself away from everyone and everything I care about hoping that it would make me feel less horrible but things keep on hitting me in the face and I have no time to decide on anything. I’m overthinking and overreacting and I don’t have anyone to talk to. The people who try to help I feel like I bother and I dump things on them. I feel like a constant chore others have to clean up so much so I keep it in. I just want to seem appealing to someone and for the longest time I’ve taken care of others knowing they only love me for the attention I give them but even that made me feel wanted. But I never realized it was the one thing that made me easily replaceable. I didn’t want it to end like that at all. But when someone new came in and payed attention to them I felt useless again. I realized that’s why everything continued to work in a cycle. I’m useless because I’m easily replaced. I’m nobody. There isn’t a thing special about me. Once someone lonely comes around and I give them attention eventually I’ll start to become worn out until they find someone new. I got what I thought I wanted for a while. Then things change. And I get overwhelmed.